Our Broken Fairytale (Frerard)

"failure"

Gerard never thought he would escape the endless cycle of destruction he found himself trapped in.

Nothing helped the pain, not the alcohol he stole from his father, trying to cope in the same way he did, not the drugs he managed to purchase from people he probably shouldn't have been acquainted with, not the blade he had pressed to his wrist after the endless taunts involving the word 'emo' inspired him to see if that method truly worked - nothing.

So when Pete inquired as to why Gerard's cheek was so swollen for the third time that month, Gerard brushed it off just like he always did, but Pete didn't drop it like everyone else.

He kept pestering Gerard, asking if he was okay, promising that he could open up to him if anyone was hurting him, and finally - Gerard snapped, revealing all of his secrets a week before graduation in a torrent of choked sobs and sputtering gasps for air.

Pete immediately sprang into action, shocking Gerard with his desire to help him, because Gerard didn't understand how anyone could actually care about what happened to him, but apparently Pete did.

He all but forced Gerard to move into the apartment he had recently rented in preparation for college, helping Gerard gather his scant belongings after cursing his father out while Gerard cowered in the background, swearing that he would call the cops on him if he ever tried to contact Gerard again.

His father had actually managed to appear apologetic, his whispered 'I'm sorry's' almost swaying Gerard's decision once they hit his ear, but Pete didn't give him the chance to second-guess himself, motioning to Gerard to follow him out of his house for the very last time, and Gerard did have to admit that his chest felt slightly lighter once the wooden door had slammed closed behind him.

~~~

Gerard assumed that everything would get better after that day, that he would somehow bounce back from the years of abuse without missing a beat, but of course, nothing was ever that easy.

Gerard found himself completely lost now that he was given the freedom to be on his own, his depression worsening as he struggled to cope with being an adult, with having to work, with taxes, with pretending that he was fine around Pete even when he wanted nothing more than to break down and cry.

Pete tried to help in his own way, convincing his boss to hire Gerard so he wouldn't have to worry about seeking employment on his own, forcing Gerard to come out with him and his friends, thinking that other people would inspire Gerard to suddenly become more social, even attempting to set Gerard up with the plethora of cute boys that he somehow seemed to know, but Gerard couldn't handle it.

It was all too much, too soon, and even the thought of getting into a relationship with someone had Gerard quivering in fear, because that would mean giving them power over him. He had seen what his father had done with that, so it was only logical to assume a boyfriend would do the same thing.

Every time anyone attempted to kiss him, which hadn't been often, or even just hold his hand, Gerard found himself flinching away from any form of physical contact, vivid flashbacks of his father's furious face dancing across his brain despite his efforts at pushing them away, which usually ended up with Gerard in tears, confusing the hell out of the sweet guy that Pete had found for him.

Finally, Gerard refused the offers to spend time with Pete and his friends all together, not leaving his room in their shared apartment unless he absolutely had to.

Gerard quickly lost his job after having numerous emotional breakdowns on the premises, the guilt at not being able to pay his half of the rent adding another weight to the already unbearable load pressing down on his shoulders, and although Pete assured him that it was fine, and he had more than enough to cover it for a few months, Gerard still felt like a failure, which was exactly what his father had always told him he was.