Who?• BJA• MikeDirnt

I Hate Myself

I woke up the next morning with my body sprawled out on the boys and woke up Billie.
"We need to talk." I said tears beginning to arrive in my eyes. We went on the balcony and I hugged him as tight as I could and kissed him once more, cause I knew after this it was gonna be the last kiss I ever got or given to him.
"I want you to know, before I tell you this, I love you Billie Joe Armstrong more than I have ever loved anyone before." He faked a smile but I knew he was worried.
I started to cry, I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. I sat on the cold ground and cried.
"Aly what's wrong baby?"he asked concerned as he put his arm around me and held me.
"I can't tell you Billie." I cried harder.
"Why n-" I cut him off
"Because I'll lose you!" I saw his face drop as I looked at him.
"Alison Armstrong there is nothing in this universe that could make you lose me." He said reassuringly. I didn't know what to do.
Do I tell him?
Do I not tell him?
Here it goes, I'm gonna lose everyone I love in 3...2...1...
"M-mike has been touching me and ganging up on me." He began to stand up and I pulled his arm back down.
"A-and I've been doing it, but listen I was telling him to stop and he wasn't and neither was, and I hated myself for it, I couldn't tell you I was too scared." He squeezed the hand and walked away I heard the front door slam. I had just lost the love of my life. He was gone. I sat out there and cried for awhile, Tré came out and comforted me and stayed with me for awhile. Mike wasn't here he was at work so he had no idea what was going on, I had no idea what to do the only person I had left was Tré. Billie was never gonna forgive me and Mike was going to hate me and my parents were gone.

2 days later brought to you by scary birds.

Billie walked in the door and I was frozen. He set the keys to his truck on the table and went on the balcony. I was so nervous, I thought he was gone forever. I loved Billie and I had no love left in me for Mike at all anymore. I walked out on the balcony and stood next to him.
"Y'know what you did is pretty fucked up right." He said
"Yeah I know it was really fucked up and I hate myself for it Billie, your the only man I love." I said touching his arm. He just looked rolled his eyes and looked back out into the sky. "Billie Joe I'm serious when I say that, I fucking love you. I will be there for you even when you don't want me to. I'll be at your side whenever, maybe even one day we will be parents and we will grow old together because I will love your forever." I saw his eyes lighten up a bit and look at me.
"Alison I'm gonna need some time to trust you again. I love you though and I always will and damn it I can't help it." He was giving me a second chance oh my god. He hugged me but not like he used to. I looked through the door to see Mike coming in the house with groceries

"Oh...Shit..."