A Thin Line Between Love & Hate (Love Conquers All series) ORIGINAL VERSION

Chapter 42: "Marked"

Brandon knew what Josh was saying but couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. Just a short while ago, Josh had gotten scared when their passion became just a little intense, and now he was telling Brandon he wanted them to...

"I, uh..." Brandon blinked, trying to focus his thoughts as his body warmed to the idea of Josh's suggestion. He took hold of Josh's hands and pulled him closer. "We don't..." his breath shuddered. "We don't have to rush this," he murmured. "Why the hurry? What do you mean you don't want Grace to be your first? You don't have to have sex with her."

Josh pushed close to him and laid his head on Brandon's shoulder. "You don't know my father," he whispered unsteadily. "If he starts to even think that I might be gay, he would probably force me to have sex with a girl to...get rid of the gay. I-I don't know if it would be Grace, but someone...maybe not even someone from our group."

"What do you mean not someone from your group?"

"It's happened before," Josh said quietly.

"What has?"

Josh hugged Brandon's neck. "A few years ago, the father of one of the teenage boys got it in his head that his son was gay, so he went out and..." he hugged Brandon tighter. "He hired a prostitute to have sex with him. It's rumored that she basically...raped him until he wasn't gay anymore."

Brandon trembled, horrified. "Are...are you serious?"

Josh nodded.

"How...how old was the kid?"

"Fifteen or sixteen," Josh whispered. "I-I'm not sure."

"Who was it? Do you know?"

"No. None of us younger ones know. I think only the older men know."

Brandon felt sick. "Do you think your father would really...do something like that?"

"I-I think, with the other boy, all the fathers were in on it. My father, too. Like maybe it was a decision that was made by the group elders." Josh shuddered in Brandon's arms. "My father is the worst of them, and he would go to any lengths to keep one of his sons from being a...faggot."

Any lengths. Fear swarmed Brandon, for Josh—and Uriah. "Josh..." Brandon swallowed, his throat constricting. "That's...that's sexual abuse. How can they get away with that?"

"Easy," Josh whispered. "We live an isolated life. And if something did come up with the cops, no one would tell anything. Patty's mom is an attorney, she knows everything about the law. The cops couldn't do anything if no one admits that anything is wrong, and even if someone did...it would be their word against the entire group. People have tried reporting us before, saying it was child endangerment to have young children on the picket lines so close to high-traffic highways. And they were right. It is dangerous. I-I'm always scared someone will deliberately swerve into us and run us down."

Oh God...Every time Brandon thought he'd heard the worst of the worst about that group, new horrors emerged.

Josh clung to Brandon. "I-I'd rather willingly have sex with Grace...than be raped by a...prostitute."

Brandon squeezed his eyes shut and crushed Josh in his arms. How was it even possible they were having this conversation? Josh was fifteen! Getting raped by a hooker his own father hired should not even be in the realm of fucking reality. He cupped the back of Josh's head with one hand and pressed his lips hard against his hair, breath shaky as tears streaked his face.

"I just..." Josh sobbed quietly. "I just don't want that to be my first memory of..." He shook his head. "I-I know I don't have any right to ask you to...to commit a sin for me, and you don't have to do it. I won't...I won't be mad." He pulled back and wiped his face. "I promise, I won't be." He looked away, his chest hitching as he bit his lip and tears trickled down his cheeks. "Even...even if all that horrible stuff wasn't a possibility..." He turned his damp eyes to Brandon's face. "I would still want you to be my first...and only."