A Thin Line Between Love & Hate (Love Conquers All series) ORIGINAL VERSION

Chapter 13: "Home is Where the Love is" (Revised)

During dinners at home, they held hands while either Abraham or Harlan Hecke said grace, but it never felt like this. At his house, the hands were cold with rigidness and hate, and no one truly held onto one another as if they were a loving a family. But then...they weren't. Here, though...Josh felt like a part of something real and good. He felt wanted and...safe. The warmth of Brandon and his dad's hands seeped through Josh, reaching to the very depths of his soul, it seemed. He was shaking inside and struggled to control it before it worked its way outward and caused him to break down. He didn't know how to process the emotions these two people created in him. He'd never felt them before with anyone and it made him want to cry his heart out and he didn't know why.

I don't ever want to leave this place. I don't ever want to go home.

Right here, right now—this place felt more like home. These people who he hardly knew felt more like a real family than the "family" he had grown up with. And he felt more welcome at this table than he ever had at his own.

He blinked back tears in a hurry as Cooper Nichols finished saying grace. Josh ducked his head and blinked some more. Brandon was looking at him and had probably seen the tears in his eyes, but he didn't say anything to bring attention to it. Josh was thankful.

"You do like spaghetti, right?" Cooper asked, pausing as he started to load up Josh's plate. "I guess I should have asked before I made it."

"I like it," Josh said quietly. "It's...it's one of my favorite foods."

"Oh good," Cooper chuckled, relieved, and scooped a serving of spaghetti onto the plate. "I would've felt awful if I had made something you didn't like for your first dinner with us."

First? A secret part of Josh wanted to believe there would be more, but he shouldn't be here, even now. During this week, would Brandon invite him to dinner again? What would Josh say if he did? If he accepted...would he get used to being here with them? He didn't want to get used to it. He didn't want to like being here—because after the project was done...he would have no excuse to come to Brandon's home, and there was no way his dad or brothers would let him come here just because.

Brandon slid him over a small saucer with two pieces of thick garlic bread then poured Josh a glass of iced tea from the pitcher sitting on the table. "We have parmesan cheese and/or ketchup if you like. Personally, I like both." Which he proved by squeezing a generous glob of ketchup onto his food and sprinkling it with lots of parmesan.

"He'd eat just about anything if you put ketchup on it," Cooper smiled teasingly.

Sucking a drop of the red sauce off his finger, Brandon grinned. "I would." He offered the ketchup bottle to Josh. "Want some?"

Josh took the bottle. On the rare occasions they had spaghetti at home, it was never served with "accessories"—just plain spaghetti and meat with just a little sauce. He didn't know why they couldn't have ketchup. Knowing his dad, he probably assumed the ketchup companies were owned and operated by "faggots" and thus wouldn't have the stuff in his home. Josh didn't know. None of his dad's reasoning made sense to him.

"You should invite Josh to the welcome home party for James' brother," Cooper spoke up, nodding at Brandon.

Josh paused as he started to add ketchup to his spaghetti. He looked at Brandon.

"Oh. Yeah." He mixed his ketchup and parmesan into his food. "Good idea."

"What party?" Josh couldn't go to any parties with Brandon, and surely Brandon knew that, but still he went on as if it were a real possibility.