A Thin Line Between Love & Hate (Love Conquers All series) ORIGINAL VERSION

Chapter 47: "Looking for Love"

"Looking for love, in all the wrong places

Looking for love in too many faces

Searching their eyes, looking for traces

Of what I'm dreaming of."

- Looking For Love, Johnny Lee

"Son?" Cooper knocked once and opened the bedroom door. Brandon hurriedly shut the laptop and his dad chuckled. "That wasn't suspicious at all."

"Sorry," Brandon mumbled with a smile, his cheeks warming. His dad stood in the doorway, brow arched in curious amusement. "I wasn't looking at porn," Brandon laughed quietly.

Cooper smiled. "I didn't think you were."

"It's just...something personal."

"Ah. Gotcha. Not dad's business." Cooper walked over and sat on the end of the bed. "I hope you know, though, that you can talk to me about anything. I'm here to listen, maybe attempt to give some sound advice, but not to judge."

"I know, dad," Brandon murmured. "And I do kind of want to talk to you about it, but..." He sighed and shrugged. "You probably wouldn't approve, and..." he shrugged again and looked away.

"And...you figure it's easier to get forgiveness than permission?" Cooper chuckled softly. "So, you'll wait and tell me after the fact?"

Brandon groaned and shook his head. "I wasn't really thinking in those terms." He smiled. "But...maybe so."

"You do understand, son, that I'm really not the one you have to contend with, right? Ultimately, it's between you and God, and God already knows all about it...whatever it is."

"That doesn't help," Brandon mumbled.

Cooper laughed quietly. "Perhaps not. But it is the truth." His brow pinched with concern as Brandon stared at the floor, a strain seeping into his face. "Are you all right, son? Is there something else you want to talk about?"

Looking up, Brandon whispered, "Josh told me some things today and...and I don't really know how to handle it." He rubbed his eyes, his breath shaky.

"What things?"

"He said that, after a picketing event last year that really affected him, he..." Brandon trembled, his eyes stinging. "...he had thoughts of...suicide. He said he stood before his father's gun cabinet and thought about..." Brandon leaned forward and covered his eyes with his hand. "But the cabinet was locked, he couldn't get to the...guns." Brandon buried his face in both hands, cold shivers running through him. "H-He told me that every year on his birthday, he wished he'd never been born."

Cooper shook his head. "That poor boy," he whispered thickly. "He's such a blessing. This world needs more like him...not less."

Brandon raised his head, tears in his eyes. "He told me that...that he doesn't wish that anymore....because of me." His chin trembled. "I can't even explain how that made me feel. That because of me, something bad in his life went away." He ducked his head and a tear slid down his face. "But there's so many other bad things that I can't make go away, and I'm so worried about him, dad." He stood up and walked to the window. "I keep thinking that his family, and that group, can't get any worse. Then he tells me something new that adds to his nightmare of a life. It's like...like that group is a bottomless well of horrors. And Josh...and his brothers...are trapped in it. And I feel helpless."

His dad left the bed and came to the window.

"I'm scared." Brandon looked at his dad. "I feel like something's wrong, and I don't know what it is, but I can't shake it. He doesn't have his own phone, he couldn't call for help if something happened." He rubbed his wet eyes. "I hate it that he's so...isolated. I'm so scared what they'll do to him if they ever find out he's gay." He swallowed thickly. "He's scared, too." Brandon shuddered when he thought about the story Josh had told him of the teenage boy. He retold the story to his dad. "How can they even call themselves human beings?" Brandon choked softly. "What if...what if they did that...to Josh?"