~MCD SHITPOSTS~

im so sorry

I'm just a bitter person. Like. Hella bitter.

I don't give two shits if my ex follows me on here, she doesn't read my books so I'm just going to go full speed and rant ahead.

I had been crushing on her since the beginning of the school year. stupid middle school love. really stupid. all of our friends knew, except her because she's oblivious to human emotion

whaddoknow, two months later she's asking me out.
"Dear Addi,
I really like you, and I have for a while. I know you have as well. Would you like to be my girlfriend?

Yes _ No_"

so what does stupid middle school fluffy do

stupid middle school fluffy says yes

one date. we went to see Joy. It was a great movie. She didn't think so.

Only date we ever had.

Fast-forward through two months of me trying to work both sides of the relationship because she's too busy oogling over our friend

Fast-forward to the night I told Jenna I would tell my mom, terrified she would do something to me
"We'll talk about this later." (Never did)
To the night I told my dad.
"Cool."

Next morning, when I told my sister.
"That's a little weird. Whatever."

And that afternoon. When my girlfriend asked if she could speak to me in the hall. Y'know. Like that doesn't set off any warning bells.

Can't even get the words out herself. Bursts into tears halfway through the sentence "Addi, I don't think-"

Our friend had to tell me it herself.
"She's breaking up with you."

Cue now-ex leaving. Friend stays.
"You can't blame her. Her dad doesn't approve of two girls together. He threatened to hurt her."

You're right. Can't blame her.

"You okay?"

Yeah, nah. Kinda holding in tears right now. Head back to the classroom. Friend automatically notices something's wrong.

"Woah, Addi, you okay? What did Jenna want to talk to you about?"

"She broke up with me."

"She what?"

"You didn't know?"

"God, no. You okay?"

"Yeah. Was expecting it, actually."

And I really was. You expect your girlfriend to break up with you when she's telling you to fuck off after you try to hug her.

And then fast-forward to summer. Hanging out with my ex. We're still friends. No hard feelings or anything. Not after her dad.

"Hey Addi, can you keep a secret?"

"Yeah. What up?"

"Me and evan are dating."

"Really? That's really cool! Congrats man!"

"Thanks!"

Except, y'know, evan is viewed by most of the world (and Jenna's dad) as a girl.

Guess ex's dad wasn't really that serious.

Fast forward to November. Ex breaks up with evan.

"I'm going to cut all the depression out of my life!" -ex, two days before she breaks up with evan.

I'm such a petty person. But hardly anyone has talked to her in half a year, she doesn't hang out with us anymore, and she's a douche to me.

Wow I'm sorry

I really need to know when to stop

I just

It hurts, still, okay? Even now going on two years, it hurts to know that someone you care about will lie to you, about something serious, because they're too much of a butch to tell the truth.

Fuck, I'm petty

I'm crying and I don't know why and I feel like such an attention hog and I am but I can't stop myself from still hurting and all my friends think it's my fault she broke up with me and I just want to scream and die and I shouldn't be getting this worked up over a middle school sweetheart but I am because I was young and scared and she was young and scared and we thought that was enough to make it work