Best of both worlds

10.

Everything was a blur as we left the restaurant, my head is packed with thoughts and feelings. I offered to pay half the bill but Jamie refused and took me back home. I would usually invite him in but I don't think I can handle anymore talking tonight.

I took myself straight up to bed and got changed out of this fancy dress.

It's hard because I'm confused about my feelings for Jamie myself, the only thing I'm sure about is the fact that I do find him attractive. I just don't understand why he wants to be in a relationship with me all of a sudden, he's never considered it before.

I reached for my phone on the bedside table remembering that I haven't thanked Jamie for dinner. I was too distracted.

Me - Thank you for dinner, it was lovely. I'll speak to you soon. Night Jamie. Xx

I woke the following morning finding Jamie's reply on my phone.

Jamie - It was my pleasure. Sleep well babes. Xx

I feel no better about this, if anything I feel worse. I definitely need to discuss this with Amy over a hot chocolate.

I quickly showered and got ready in time to meet her at Costa at ten o'clock. I noticed her sitting outside in the sun as I parked up on the side of the road close by.

"Hey," I smiled.

"Hiya. Are you okay?" she asked hugging me briefly before I sat down.

"Yeah, I'm shattered though."

"Late night?"

"Yes, but not for the reasons you have in mind."

"What time did you get in?" she chuckled.

"I'm not sure, but it was after midnight," I replied.

"Something is telling me it didn't go well.."

I began to share the conversation I had with Jamie, from the awkward compliments to the happy ever after I explained everything. I didn't get the reaction I was expecting though.

"Why are you not surprised about this?" I frowned.

"I'm wondering why you are surprised."

"What?"

"He's right what he's saying, there must be some sort of feeling there for him to do everything he does for you."

"We're best friends."

"No, it's more than that," she insisted.

"I'm sure I would have noticed."

"I'm sure you have, you're just too naive."

"I am not," I muttered.

"Why do you think he's been telling you to forget Nathan? He wants to take his place."

"I've always agreed to him helping me with the baby, he knows that."

"Maybe so, but he also knows that attractive girl like you can find a boyfriend wether you have baggage or not."

"I don't know Amy, he doesn't know where to start with a relationship. Do I really want to get involved?"

"Is there feelings from your side?"

"I'm not sure," I shrugged.

"I think it's best if you talk to him about it again, just consider it rather than argue against it this time."

She's right.

I sat in my car tapping my fingers on the steering wheel waiting to pluck up the courage to send Jamie a text. It's written and ready to be sent, I just need to press the button.

Me - Hey, can we meet up for a chat please? Xx

I sent it before I could change my mind and luckily Jamie replied within a couple of minutes.

Jamie - Sure! Come to mine :) Xx

I set off from the coffee shop trying to put all my thoughts together in my head, I know what I want to say I just don't know how to say it. I arrived at his house to find the front door on the latch.

"Hello?" I called.

Thudding down the stairs he met me in the lounge half dressed.

"Sorry, I had a quick shower," he smiled.

"It's okay."

"Do you want a drink?" he asked.

"No thanks, I've just been to Costa."

"I'll just make myself a tea then," he said wandering into the kitchen. I followed him and sat at the breakfast table. I've never been this nervous around Jamie.

"I hate this tension," I mumbled hoping to break the ice.

"It doesn't have to be awkward."

"I don't understand why Jamie."

"Look I know it's weird, but its genuine," he said pulling out a stool beside me.

"Is it because of the baby?" I asked.

"No, I'm going to help you will the baby no matter what."

"Well, is it because I'm the only one.."

"Thanks Tiff," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry but what do you expect?"

"I want to be with you because I like you, not just because of the baby and not because nobody else will have me."

"I didn't mean to say that."

"You're the only one who understands me, if things are this great as friends think about how amazing things will be if we're together."

"But why now?" I asked.

"I've now realised why I care so much."

"I know you care but that doesn't mean we have feelings for each other."

He stood up and pushed his mug aside. I looked back at him in shock as he suddenly pressed his lips firmly against mine. I hesitated but kissed him back.

"Why did you kiss me back?" he asked.

"I don't know," I whispered.

I kissed him again and wrapped my arms around his neck, our mouths parted allowing our tongues to explore.

"That was nice," I said pulling back.

"Yeah it was," he grinned sliding his hand down my waist to my bump.

"I can't let a man hurt me again Jamie."

"That won't happen babe."

"If we're going to work you need to change."

"I will, I'll give it all up for you."

"Do you promise? because if this goes wrong we could ruin our friendship."

"I promise. Nothing bad will happen," he nodded.

We kissed again to seal the deal, I'm willing but this has to be done one step at a time.

❤️

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