Maybe Love

II

CHAPTER TWO:

PRING'S SECRET

***

YO'S
POINT OF VIEW

"PROPOSE?!"

   Okay, naaiintindihan ko ang exaggerated na reaction ng kuya kong si Beam. Pero medyo OA na, eh. Mas affected pa yata siya kesa sa'kin. I was inside his room at kinwento ko sa kanya ang sinabi ni Pha sa'kin kaninang umaga. I was comfortably lying on his bed na napapaligiran ng Spongebob pillows.

   "Yes, kuya. Marriage proposal."

   "They're too young for that. Twenty one pa lang sila, 'di ba, like you? Marami pa silang pwedeng gawin sa buhay nila as single adults. They can still achieve a lot of things without being tied to each other."

   "'Yon ang gusto ni Pha, eh. Sure na raw s'ya kay Pring."

   "Why is he in a hurry, anyway? Buntis ba si Pring?"

   "Of course not!" mabilis kong sagot. I knew for a fact na hindi hahayaan ni Pring na mabuntis siya nang maaga. At kung buntis man siya, ako ang unang-unang makakaalam.

   "Hindi naman pala, eh. Bakit kasal kaagad ang nasa isip niya?"

   "Love."

   "Love? Love lang?"

   "Yeah. I guess that should be the biggest reason kung bakit magpapakasal ang dalawang tao, 'di ba? They should be in love with each other."

   "Bro, masyado kang hopeless romantic. And idealistic. Realistically speaking, mas okay na magpakasal kung sexually compatible kayo, you're both financially stable and you have the same goals in life."

   I chose not to comment. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ang bitter ni kuya sa buhay. Bata pa lang kami, alam ko nang bisexual siya. Pero never siyang nagkaro'n ng boyfriend (o baka he chose to hide his past relationships) and I apparently don't have an idea why. But that's his life and as much as I'd like to feed my curiosity, I value his privacy. I can only settle for the things he's comfortable sharing with.

   Going back to my predicament, hindi ko alam kung paano ko tutulungan si Pha na mag-propose kay Pring without hurting myself. Obviously, there's no way I can help them achieve their happy ending without hurting myself in the process. Hindi naman ako masochist kaya ayoko sanang masaksihan ang mga susunod na mangyayari sa relasyon nila. But that's impossible unless mag-migrate ako sa ibang lugar.

   The following day, nag-malling ako since walang pasok. Mag-isa lang ako. Mas trip kong gumala mag-isa kasi mas nagkakaro'n ako ng freedom to do anything I want. Pwede kong bagalan o bilisan ang kilos ko whenever I want. Bumili ako ng new shirt and shoes since matagal-tagal na rin naman mula no'ng huli akong nag-shopping.

   Our parents made sure na comfortable kahit hindi luxurious ang buhay namin ni kuya. As much as possible, binibigay nila ang gusto namin. In return, we do our best not to disappoint them. Isa rin 'yan sa rason kung bakit inilihim namin ni kuya ang sexual orientation namin. Our parents would freak out. Dalawa na nga lang ang anak nila, parehong bakla pa. They'd never understand and accept us.