Always Broken (Book 1 and 2)

Chapter 5: You Are Mine

Our honeymoon was over before I knew it, and part of me felt instant relief. There was nothing romantic about the whole trip. It consisted of my husband constantly ignoring me while I cooked dinner for us in a Hawaiian suite with demeaning silence. It was partially fun with the beautiful resorts and beaches there. However, it staggered in beauty because my husband was not enjoying it with me. I only became more depressed when I went to the beach to see happy wives spending time with their husbands with their carefree kids playing in the sand. It made me jealous because that was what I longed for with Brad. I just wanted a big happy family but of course, that only happened in Hollywood movies.

Knowing that my husband disliked my very existence on Earth was still not enough for me to stop fantasizing over gaining his love. I hated the fact that I was vulnerable because of all the feelings I harbored. I did not know how to explain it, but no matter how bad he treated me, I still wanted that gaze of approval from him or that afternoon kiss when he got home from work. I was sick of feeling like I was a doormat. So, I decided it would be best to get away from the person who did nothing but treat me like I was dirt and go visit my one and only best friend.

Olivia Sanchez is my best friend and in times of trouble, my only anchor. She knew my whole situation about Brad, and she hated him. Unlike me, Olivia was hotheaded and rebellious. If you ordered her around, she would not hesitate to lay her hands on you. She was a no-nonsense type of person, and the girl had been expelled from her former high school for breaking a boy's nose at school when he tried to bully her.

I loved how she had guts and some days, I wished I could be like her: daring, nonchalant, and a rebel. But it was just not in my character, for reasons I do not think I can explain to myself. My family had always restricted everything I did. I was told to act a certain way, whether it was for appearances or for something else. Because of that restraint, I was a people pleaser. As much as I tried to break that habit, it was like a rotten apple that refused to leave. Olivia helped me break that habit, awakening the fierce storm in me. Without her, I wouldn't know what to do. 

I decided to go to a coffee shop at the end of the block named Gloving. It was brand new and fully renovated. I fell in love with the place as soon as I saw it. It fit my bright personality with neon colors, an attractive glow in the dark tiger on the door, and a turquoise coffee cup on the logo. The friendly people inside the café were only the cherry on top. It was a touch of happiness to my sad life.

I giggled as I opened the door, and I ran over to see Olivia sitting in a booth already, making sure not to spill any of her beverage on her dress. Immediately, my mind flashed back to the way Brad treated me at the restaurant, but I pushed back those haunting memories. This was supposed to be time set aside for my friend.

"Hey, Girlfriend!" I heard Olivia yell.

"Hi," I grinned, while running over to give her a big hug.

"So, what's up? How have you been?" My friend questioned.

I really wanted to avoid this conversation about how I have been because it would only lead to crying. But Olivia would pester me until I told her. She did not like the idea of her friend being sad over something for too long. I smiled as I thought about how lucky I was to have her in my life. 

"I'm fine," I lied, and when Olivia criticized my facial expression, she could tell it was a façade. I almost broke down in tears when a male employee interrupted what would have been the next episode of Downtown Abbey. He came to our table to take our orders, and disappeared as fast as he came. When he left, I noticed marker on the side of my plastic cup. Frowning, I lifted the item up just to see the boy had written his phone number and name on my cup, along with a smiley face.