Always Broken (Book 1 and 2)

Chapter 11: Please

Hey, guys! What's up? I'm back for an update! Who's awesome? Lol, I'm playing with you guys. Anyways, this chapter will be.... interesting. That's all I'm gonna gonna say. Okay, now. You can read.

Jackie Simmons

It's crazy how you can get so caught up in daydreaming about loving someone. But in the process, you forget if that someone really loves you or if they even like you, better yet. I really like Brad but some days, I wondered if Brad really looked at me how I look at him. Did Brad feel any type of feelings when he saw me or was I just a girl who walked passed him every day? Was I just some girl he strongly disliked because of our arranged marriage? Or was I just his wife that he was highly possessive over?

I thought about these things everyday as I battled with my husband for my ability to go places, it seemed like he did not want me to go anywhere by myself. It had gotten so bad to where I was not even allowed to go to a restaurant without Brad. I liked to spend time with Brad, but at times, I longed to just be a kid again. I am nineteen, but I'm barely an adult. I am not used to all of this, especially having a strict husband. I still liked to go for ice cream by myself or get tucked in by my mom for bed. I miss all of the small things I used to do. But as my mother says, I was married now, and I had to grow up.

But I did not want to.

I was sick and tired of being restricted from everything. So, instead of being more mature about it like my mother would tell me, I went upstairs stomping my feet like a little kid, feeling angry. I wanted to go somewhere by myself, and it was time I expressed myself to my husband.

Sitting on the stairs upset, I heard a door slam outside. Immediately, I ran outside to talk to my husband. Surprised that I was not cooking him dinner inside like usual, he stopped in his tracks to stare at me. Now that he was actually in front of me, I started to feel nervous, and I wanted to back out of this decision. But it had to be done.

"What are you doing out here?" Brad asked.

"I want to go somewhere by myself. Can I go?" I ask, politely. I was still trying to be sort of mature about this whole situation because we were trying to improve our relationship, and I did not want to mess up anything more than it already was messed up.

"No, I explained this to you before. You are the recipe to disaster, and I cannot leave you in places by yourself," Brad seethed.

"But why?! I just want to be a normal person and go out with my friends! Is that so hard? That's all I'm asking," I exclaimed. Usually, I would not have this much guts to talk back to Brad, but I was at the end of my stick. I had not been allowed to go anywhere without a babysitter, while my friends are living their life to the fullest. This was just torture.

Brad slammed the door to his car, and it startled me, as I completely forgot about the fact that we were outside. He came closer to me, grabbing my wrist while pulling me close up to his face. Then he spoke, "I have explained myself to you, and I will not take disrespect from you. I hate your friends because they deliberately dishonor me whenever I am dealing with our personal matters. So, therefore, you don't need to be around them. You'll never be a normal nineteen year old because you're married to me, get over it."

And that was all it took. All of the little patience I had was gone, and the longsuffering attitude I had was gone. I had been knowing my friends for years. Olivia was my anchor, and Josh was my partner in crime, and no one would stop me from hanging out with them. That was like asking me to stop eating ice cream. Asking me to change my lifestyle to fit his made me furious. I was obedient to him, but all I wanted was cooperation from him, and I was not getting it. I was so angry.

But regardless of how I feel, I am supposed to think before I speak. Obviously, I did not because I regretted the next words that came out of my mouth.

"You get on my nerves! Why won't you just leave me alone forever?!" I screamed. My eyes got wider as I realized what I said, and I did not mean that. But of course, you can not take back what you say to others. My heart broke into pieces as I saw hurt in my husband's eyes.