Six Years In Space (Bellarke)

Chapter 5

           Looking down at the drawing Clarke sketched of Octavia for Bellamy, she couldn't help but smile. She also couldn't help but feel proud of herself. It was good, better than good, it looked just like her, Bellamy was going to love it. Looking down at it though, Clarke felt it needed something more. Something more to make the image pop, something that made the image feel like a real gift. Taking the image in her hand Clarke walked out the door to the command center, hoping to sift through the crate of extra parts that Raven and Monty set aside to see if she could find something she could make into a frame.
         The doors slide open and Clarke steps inside the control room to have Monty, Raven, Harper and Murphy all look up at her. For it being so early in the morning there sure were a lot of people here. Murphy smirks, as he tosses a small bearing into the air then catches it.

"What can we do for you Clarke."

Clarke smiled. "Actually Murphy I'm looking for some extra scrap."

Murphy smiles again and points to the crate near the bay window that overlooks the orange encased Earth. Clarke nods, and walks over to it, trying her best not to look out the window. She didn't want to see the Earth like that. But something in her wanted to see. Maybe the scientist in her, because she glanced up for just a second to see the Earth fully covered in a light orange glow. Clarke gasped quietly and looked down at the crate of extra parts, but that didn't stop the flashes, the haunting images of her dream. The nightmare creeping in through the holes of her reality. She saw herself running from the death wave, she saw herself fall with her face covered in boils and blood.

"What are you looking for?" Raven asked, startling Clarke. Clarke didn't realize in her fit, where her nightmare began to seep into the real world that Raven had made her way beside her.

Clarke was grateful. Ravens words pulled her back from the void of madness and she looked over at her and smiled. Tears almost welling up in her eyes.

"Clarke are you okay?" Raven whispered, drawing closer to Clarke as she rested her hand on her shoulder.

Clarke nodded. "Yeah. I'm looking for something to make a frame with for Bellamy." Clarke said showing Raven the image she'd drawn of Octavia.

Raven smiled. "It looks just like her."

Clarke nodded. "I thought so too."

"I think I have exactly what you need." Raven said grabbing Clarke by the wrist and pulling her along to Raven's apartment.

                Ravens apartment was messy. Clothes on the floor, parts and wires everywhere on the floor as well, as though she were just keeping them in case she needed them. Though why they would be here and not in the crate of extra scrap Clarke wasn't sure. Raven stepped out of the small closet that was in the living room and she walked forward bridging the space between her and Clarke. Raven handed Clarke a very heavy metal picture frame. It was perfect, maybe a bit smaller than Clarke's drawing but she could fold the corners in, it wouldn't be an issue. As Clarke turned the frame over, she saw inside was a picture of a man and a woman. Both hugging and smiling, from the looks of the image they were right outside the cafeteria. Pictures on the ark were expensive, so they must have spent a lot to get a picture of their love.

"I don't know who they were, but they looked happy."

Clarke nodded. "They do."

"But maybe the frame will make someone else happy." Raven answered making Clarke's glum thoughts fade away leaving behind a smile on her face.

"Thank you Raven." Clarke said hugging Raven.

Raven pulled away clearing her throat. "Ahem. . Okay go get that to Bellamy before he starts crying about how much he misses that little brat."

Clarke smiled and nodded as she pulled the image out and handed it to Raven. Clarke folded the edges of her drawing down and it slid inside without any hesitation. It fit almost perfectly, and she knew Bellamy was going to love it. Wrapping her arms around Raven one last time, practically forcing Raven to hug her again Clarke made her way to Bellamy's apartment. She was quick about it. She was excited to give it to him, she was excited to see him smile. Clarke knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She turned the knob and pushed the door open to see Bellamy peek out of his bedroom.

"Clarke. ." He said walking out of his room shirtless, as he zipped up his pants.

Clarke could feel the blood flush to her cheeks. It'd been a long while since she saw Bellamy shirtless, and she wasn't disappointed.

"I have a surprise for you." Clarke said making sure he couldn't see what was behind her back.

Bellamy stood on his toes trying to look behind her but Clarke rotated her body.

"Ready?" She asked.

Bellamy smiled, and nodded.  Clarke held the frame of Octavia out for him and he took it in his hands as he looked down at it. She could see tears in his eyes as he stared down at the image of his little sister. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around her. Hugging her tightly, she was surprised, this meant a lot more to him than she could have ever imagined. As she pulled away from him Clarke glanced behind him to see Echo leaned against his bedroom doorway. She smiled and approached, resting her hand on Bellamy's arm as she looked down at the image of Octavia.

"This is very good Clarke, Roan was an artist as well." Echo said.

"I-I didn't know you had company." Clarke said, not meaning it to sound so offended.

Bellamy looked up from the image at Clarke then looked at Echo. "It's fine Clarke, this was important." Bellamy answered pointing to the frame.

Clarke shook her head. "I should have knocked longer, or at least waited longer for you to answer. Or I should have just waited until you were descent, or at lunch. ." Clarke said starting to back away from both Echo and Bellamy.

"Really Clarke it's fine." Bellamy replied.

"I should go." Clarke said spinning around and walking out of the apartment closing the door behind her.

             Clarke walked down the hall just a few feet from Bellamy's door to hers and she leaned against it. She felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. As though someone had punched her in the stomach, and then punched her again. Clarke could feel the tears in her eyes, beginning to blur her vision, as they finally dripped down her cheeks. This wasn't something she was used to feeling. The past six months on the ground Clarke could never admit her feelings, to Bellamy, to anyone, let alone herself.
              Clarke loved Finn, she loved Lexa, but Bellamy was someone she had loved for different reasons. She loved Finn for his bravery. She loved Lexa for her beauty, her strength. But now as she thought about it she really did love Bellamy. She always knew it, but it took the image of him with another woman to break her. To make her realize that she shouldn't have shied away. But she was scared. She'd lost Lexa, she lost Finn. She had lost her father. Bellamy was the one person Clarke could always count on, the one person who completely understood her, even from the very beginning. He was the one person who never gave up on her, and always trusted, and believed in her. She couldn't bare to lose him, so she thought burying those feelings, hiding them away would make it easier when she did lose him. Hiding her feelings from Bellamy was just another mistake Clarke had to add to her list.