What if Clarke had made it in time? What if she set the tranciever and she made it back to Becca's lab in time before the death wave hit? What if she was able to go into space with Bellamy, Raven and the others?
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Clarke stayed behind to lock up. Making sure no one would be able to get into the rations, and the food. Not that anyone would, but she didn't want to take any chances in case someone was to find themselves even more hungry and wouldn't be able to control that hunger leading them to gorge themselves with what little food they did have. It would be a month before the farms started producing fruit. Locking the door, Clarke glanced over at the table to see Monty, Harper and Bellamy talking and laughing. Laughing, joy, something the Ark hasn't had the past couple weeks. It was nice to see everyone enjoying themselves, rather than being so glum. Clarke on the other hand, had had enough talking. It was fun, and she felt proud of herself to bring some life back to the ark, to make everyone smile, but at the same time she was already tired of talking about possible jobs they could have had if things went differently. After Raven laughed at Murphy's comment about him being a Doctor, he wouldn't stop talking about the infinite timelines, and how it was entirely possible that in one of them, he could have become a doctor. How Raven could have not been a mechanic, Bellamy could have been floated. The infinite differences each universe or timeline carried out. To Clarke these possibilities were fun to think about, but she saw no point in putting serious thought into them like Murphy was. He was so offended by Raven laughing at him. And he found comfort that in one of the universes or timelines, he was a more successful human being than he was here and now. For Clarke this was pointless, because the now was important. This timeline was important. No sense wondering about how if the Ark had never gone to the ground she would be a medical apprentice, who hated her mom for killing her dad. Or maybe her dad would still be alive. Or maybe they would all just end up dead because the Arks life support was failing. None of these things mattered.
"Did I miss lunch again?" Echo's voice pierced Clarke's thoughts making her turn around to see a sweaty Echo.
Clarke smiled politely. "No I saved you some."
Echo took the pack of protein paste from Clarke and smiled back. "Thanks."
"Also. ." Echo trailed off. "Thank you for not letting them take my suit."
Clarke nodded. "You're welcome." She said not sure what else to say as she walked past Echo to go to her room. Later she would check on the farms see how they were doing. But for right now, Clarke wanted to get back to her art. Her drawings.
Whenever Clarke immersed herself in her art, she always lost track of time. She could be sitting for hours and it would have only felt like minutes. She was happy to be drawing again. She was happy to be spending time alone. With just her pencil, the paper, and the quiet. When she was drawing all of her worries, her guilt it was gone. It just floated away. Drawing in a notebook she had found in the apartment. It belonged to someone named Davin. A boy or a man. That was uncertain, but his father was sick and the council didn't approve his treatment so they had to wait for him to die. He wrote in this notebook everyday. It sounds awful, poor guy, Clarke couldn't imagine what that must have felt like. And as painful as it was to do Clarke tore his pages out and threw them away. His story was over, it was Clarke's time. She not only drew in the notebook but she wrote in it as well. Writing about her mother and how much she missed her. Even writing letters to her mom, hoping it'd make her feel better.
