Mind Of Mine ~ Justin Bieber as Jason McCann

chapter ten: Brotherly Love.

Jason's POV
'That was torture. That was insanity. That broke me. You fucking broke me."
"Mom?", my head started spinning and it felt as if the part of me that was never there had re- appeared. "You've grown so much!", my mom beamed acting as if the last 13 years hadn't happened. "No shit mom it's what happens as you get older.", I snapped. She turned her head towards my dad, "You let him speak like this?", she questioned in a shocked tone. "No, I let myself speak like this. My dad has raised me to be respectful and kind. But when something- someone, has the audacity to show up and act as if they had cared for fuck knows how many years, that really pisses me off.", I barked.
"Jason, I-", she started. "You know what mom it's 4am and I'm really tired so whatever you have to say will have to wait until another time", I interrupted. I was really not in the mood to do this big fucking family reunion. "Why are you here?", I asked her. "I wanted to tel you how much I regret the decision I made 13 years ago, you don't understand-", I cut her off again, "No I don't fucking understand mom. And I hope you regret that decision for the rest of your life. I also hope you know how much I longed to see you after you left. All 13 fucking birthdays you missed, all 13 christmases, all 13 years of school, all my soccer and hockey tournaments, my grade school graduation, all the school plays. Everything. You missed everything. I really should not be calling you mom as the woman sat opposite you has been more of a mom to me in 13 years than you will ever be in your entire life,", I looked over at Kate and she nodded and smiled at me. "I hope dad doesn't mind but you are going to stay here until I wake up, you can sleep on the couch. And when I see you in the morning I want a full explanation from you.", I finished my rant and turned around and walked upstairs. As I left the room I felt everyone's eyes burning holes in me.

I couldn't believe she was here. Half of me was so glad to see her and I hoped that all the questions I had would be answered. The other half of me wondered why the fuck she was here and how she had the audacity to waltz in to my family's house and act as if nothing had happened. As soon as I got into my room I removed my jeans and hoodie and threw them with the other miscellaneous shit on the floor. I got into my bed and would not stop tossing and turning as I attempted to sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about the night I had had. Seeing Cynthia and the mystery man, helping her out of the woods, seeing my mom. Everything I had experienced in the last 4 or 5 hours was batshit crazy.

I woke up that morning living on the 3 hour sleep I got. I was beyond tired but it was already 9:46am and I was ready for my questions to be answered. I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stepped in, letting the warm water roll down my body. The water felt like a release from what was happening. I stayed in there for at least 30 minutes before stepping out and brushing my teeth. I walked back down the landing to my bedroom where I picked out some random clothes and threw them on. I left my hair as it was and practically sprinted down the stairs. I was about to enter the living room when my dad called me from the kitchen.

"Morning Dad", I greeted him. "Morning Jase. Look I know you've got a lot of questions to ask and I think you're old enough to bare the answers no matter how fucked up they may be. I just want you to know that no matter what happens you will always be my little boy and I'll protect you from whatever bombshells your mother decides to bring into your life.", he said meaningfully. "Thanks dad, I really appreciate it. I know you've got my back and I have yours to. No matter what happened 13 years ago, I know whatever you did for me was out of good intention.", we smiled at each other after I had finished talking and he pulled me in for a hug. I turned around to leave the kitchen and stopped in my tracks when I realised I had more to say. "Oh and Dad,", he turned around for me to continue. "What I said last night about Kate was true. All these years I've put off calling her mom because I waited for my real one to show up but now she's here I want nothing more than my answers so she can get back to whatever she was doing before. I just thought you should know", I smiled before turning to head to the living room. On my way out I noticed the biggest grin appearing on my Dad's face. I knew what I had said about Kate really meant a lot to him.

When I entered the living room my mom was sat contently holding a cup of coffee, I made my presence known by coughing awkwardly. "Good Morning Jason.", she said softly. I don't reply, the atmosphere was awkward for a couple of minutes before I said, "Mom, I want to know everything. Including why you abandoned us, where you went and why you didn't call for me for so long. Trust me that's not even the half of what I want to know. I'll have questions as you go along.". She looked me dead in the eye, sighing before saying, "I promise I'll tell you everything.". I sat waiting for her to start her story, gesturing her to begin.

"Jason the first thing you should know...I don't know how you're going to react so I'm just going to put it bluntly,", I stayed silent so she could finish. "You have a brother.", she said promptly. I hesitated, "Yeah I know, his names Harvey and he's currently upstairs.", I replied. She sighed, "No. You have an older brother.". I knew what she meant in the first place, I wasn't completely oblivious. I stayed silent yet again waiting for her to tell me everything. "His name is Jackson, he is another reason I came to town. He fled here when I told him about you, he lost it and got on the first plane from New York to get here to find you.". My heart dropped, the guy Cindy was yelling at yesterday - his name was Jackson. What the fuck. "I have a brother. Why the fuck would you keep me in the dark about this?!", I shouted. I had an older brother, another fucking thing I've missed out on. "He's somewhere in town, I know it. I told the police when he left and when he called me they tracked his cell location. Unless he's left in the last 24 hours then he's still here.", she told me. "How long has he been here?", I said conveying a exasperating look on my face. "He left in early September. I haven't had any contact with him until yesterday. The police are convinced he's got himself in a state- particularly with drugs and alcohol. He sounded distressed on the phone, a way usually victims of drug abuse act.", she answered. If it was possible, my heart dropped even more. It was now clear that the monster that hit Cindy yesterday was my brother. I remained inaudible. I wanted to get up and start smashing things, releasing my anger. I knew that would be unfair but then again why do I care? My mom has been unfair to me for the whole of me life, why do I not want to play the game back?. I sat with my hands in my hair practically clawing my scalp out. "Wh...What happened? Is he my full brother?", I choked out. "Yes. Me and your father were only seventeen when we had Jackson. Meaning he's only 2 years older than you.", she said sorrowfully. "Why can I not remember him?", I quizzed. "Because he had erm... he had issues. He spent a lot of time in the hospital with different doctors and you were very young when we left. I decided myself and your father couldn't continue the arguments and problems we had. He didn't agree with me. We argued whilst you were asleep and I packed my bags, kissed you on the forehead and was on my way out. I was trapped in the relationship and I had to leave. On my way out Jackson saw me so I took him with me and we left.", she was now crying as she spoke. Anger blinded me, I didn't know what I was doing. I was spiralling. I stood up, panting heavily. "AND YOU DIDN'T FUCKING CONSIDER ME. WHAT? DID YOU FORGET I FUCKING EXISTED. YOU COULD OF CALLED. YOU COULD OF PICKED UP MY CALLS MOM. I WATCHED YOU LEAVE MY LIFE AND THE WORST THING ABOUT IT, AS I GOT OLDER I STARTED TO FEEL AS IF I DESERVED IT. THAT WAS TORTURE. THAT WAS INSANITY. THAT BROKE ME. YOU FUCKING BROKE ME.", I roared. I flipped the coffee table up and punched the wall leaving a hole. I stormed out, grabbed my shoes, forced the door open and slammed it shut so hard that the hinges shook.

When I got outside the rain was pouring down. I didn't care, it almost cleared up my thoughts. I had a brother. A brother that knew about me. I had to see him, talk with him.