Linstead: Undercover Mission

It Would Become An Everday Tradition

Hey everyone! I hope the past few days have been great!! Thank you all for the comments and prayers that I make the volleyball team, and they worked! I'll be playing back row, and sorry for the lack of updates, but six hour practices are killing me, and exhausting my body. School starts next week, so expect 1-2 chapters a week! And Sweater Weather is coming up!! I love Fall! Please enjoy this chapter, and review!

"Er, baby?" Jay rolled over, his eyes shooting open to the commotion next to him.

There Erin was, for the third night in a row since they arrived home, thrashing in her sleep. Her face in the pillow, thrashing her legs, kicking them, her eyes clenched shut shone through the moonlight.

"Please, Scott. Don't. Don't do it. I'll get on my back, I will. Just please don't hurt me." She whimpered, still thrashing around violently.

Jay did what he had gotten into the habit of doing. He pinned her arms down and turned her facing towards him, pulling her to his chest, caressing her back. "Erin. Wake up, it's just a dream." Jay soothed, holding her shaking body.

She curled into his chest, her whole body shaking, her sobs subsiding to whimpers. "I'm sorry, Jay." She would cry this every night, apologizing for awakening him.

Jay shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for, Er." Jay hated when she would blame herself for this. She had no idea Scott and Damien would kidnap her and brutally assault her.

"Do I really have to go see Dr. Gorelik. I saw him when we arrived three days ago." Erin now hated going to therapy. Hated it. Before hand, she was always reluctant to, but now? She felt guilty, vulnerable, and worthless.

"Twice a week, yes. Until the nightmares stop and you can take a shower by yourself and walk around the apartment by yourself you will be going twice a week." Jay hated this conversation. He swore he had it with her every hour.

Erin groaned. She was going to be okay. "And when everything goes away?"

"You will go once a month, Erin. Hank and I already discussed that. Any other questions?" Jay told her this every. Single. Day. Literally.

Erin shook her head, dropping it back down to his chest and Jay started to draw lazy circles on her back as her body relaxed. "Can we just go to bed, Jay?"

He kissed the top of her head. "I'd love nothing more. I'll be right here."

The day they got back from Hawaii was a disaster. Once they got off the plane, they went home and showered, taking a two hour nap, then headed to Erin's five o'clock counseling appointment with Dr. Gorelik. Jay waited outside, his heart breaking when he would hear Erin cry through the door talking about the attack. Dr. Gorelik then agreed with Dr. Malia, calling Jay into the room, and telling them both at the same time he would diagnose Erin with PTSD.

Jay had no idea what to think. He was emotionally frustrated with everything. He never saw Erin in this state, the girl he loves, and it was shredding him apart. He didn't want Erin to be hurting. He wanted to take the pain from her and carry it on his shoulders. Voight had gave him two weeks off to take care of Erin, and after that she was all alone for the day, until he got home at night. He wasn't scared she would hurt herself, but he was scared she would keep reliving the moment, having constant breakdowns.

But, what scared him the most was the thought of her pushing him away.

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Erin's eyes blinked open, her hands going to shield her eyes from the bright sun. Once her eyes were adjusted, she turned over to Jay's side if the bed, finding it empty. She reached across the bed and felt the cold sheets, knowing he must have been up for awhile. Why didn't he wake me?