living

Accepting fate

Some days don't u ever get soooo frustrated you just accept your fate. I might move away from all the people i love it will actually be a new life i'll be in a fresh new life. What would i do? i don't know i always kinda wanted a new life starting over. I just don't want to forget every one i won't forget them but i don't want to lose them. But i kinda have to just accept it. I'll keep a minimal of three people around i don't want to keep a lot. i need to let go. either that or just leaving my family if they move im okay with that too.
I have been kinda just a mess lately believe me it's the stress i take it out on people i don't mean to but i can't contain myself i haven't really slept a lot lately i can't sleep anymore things just been keeping me up thoughts. I need to start sleeping more the "downward spiral" this is the start of it actually not really the start of it we have passed that i guess i'm just following it. I hate being in these kind of state of mind. Literally i have to contain my emotions because i can get out of hand sometimes. Now things have been shaky with trust for me. I'm back in pain killers it kinda just gets me through the day. So i believe. but i can get really out of hand with them sometimes but i'm being careful it's all good. I'm going to see him tomorrow with one my friends i'm lowkey excited.