My Fanfiction

I'm Here, Love (Crowley x Reader)

WARNING: Before I continue, I have to warn you that there will be depressed contents such as thoughts of suicide, almost cutting and self depreciation! 

 About ish: Reader gets home from a hunt and after taking care of their wounds, notice everything they don't like about themselves which end in fluffy stuff 

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 You sighed, plopping down on your bed, your back hitting your bed. You had looked at yourself in a body length mirror after taking a shower and taking care of the wounds which weren't that bad, just a few scrapes but you noticed the fat rolls on your stomach and thighs, the un-equal legs, one being bigger than the other, your tiny hands that Dean always teases you about because their like doll hands. Your grandmother always called them piano hands but you weren't too fond of the piano. You noticed all the cuts, scars, bruises and wounds that you've attained over the years, living and hunting with Sam and Dean. 

You vaguely heard Dean - or was it Sam?, you hardly cared - yell something for you and you just yelled "No." You could barely hear your voice over your drowning thoughts, Sam and Dean really don't care about you, they can't wait to get you out of your hands. A voice in the back of your head saying that no one cared. You started to believe that it was true. Worst of all, even Crowley wants you dead.
You had met Crowley years ago when you were hunting a demon and for some reason, he had interfered. You found yourself in love with the demon for some reason. But you knew it was not to be as he was the King of Hell and you were a hunter. That was practically treason. You couldn't help it, he was amazing. That only made you feel worse because he'd never see you as anything but a thing that hunts. You felt tears fall down your cheeks and you hadn't even noticed the knife you had over your wrist, hadn't even noticed the slashes you had already put on yourself. You growled to yourself. It wasn't enough. You found yourself sitting in the middle of the wooden and cold floor, prepared with a knife.
With thoughts of suicide and pain and that no one would ever care for you, you put the knife over the main vein in your wrist, ready to cut as deep as you could. You hesitated until you felt the cold metal of the knife against your wrist and you were ready to finish it all. Until...
"Darling, what on earth are you doing?" You felt more tears go down your cheeks. You felt his body against your back.
Crowley was there, his legs on either side of you, his arms around your waist, his hand on yours over the knife. Slowly, he pulled you forwards against him and closed his legs around yours, holding you close in a tight embrace. You cried harder. "What are you doing here?" You asked bitterly and you heard him sigh, felt his breath hot against the back of your neck as he said, "C'mon, sweetheart... I'm here..." He whispered, resting his head on your shoulder as he began to coax the knife out of your hand. "Please don't do this." Crowley continued to whisper to you as if you were a child. You frown and tighten your grip on the knife, glaring at the hand that was on yours, trying to fight against his hand, trying to dig the knife in your skin. Crowley only held your hand tight. You frowned as you heard him say that you meant so much to him. "Sweetheart, please... You mean so much to me... I couldn't be without you... Sad to say it, but Moose and Squirrel also care about you... Don't throw your life away.." You cried silently as you thought. Your grip on the knife only lessened and he took the knife from you, sliding it across the room and hugging you to his chest.
You buried your face in his chest as he held you like a child that had woke up from a nightmare. You felt him stroke your hair and whisper sweet nothings, your cuts and scars and bruises and wounds healing as much as he could. The last thing you heard before you fell asleep in his arms were, "I'm here, love.... I'm always here."
--
Crowley placed you on your bed, tucking you in and pressing his lips to your temple. His heart had ached as he saw you vulnerable, on the floor. The harsh reality that you were about to kill yourself crashed down on him and he wanted to cry. It hurt him so much. Instead, he magicked himself in front of the boys who were in the library. They gave him a bewildered look but before they could say anything, he whispered harshly, "I swear if you don't take good care of (Y/N) anymore, I will not let (Y/Nickname) live here anymore!" With a slap to their heads, he disappeared again, figuring he'd watch over you.
--
In the morning, you woke up to the amazing smell of your favorite breakfast foods. You smiled a bit and without dressing or anything, ran out of your room, to the kitchen to see Crowley at the stove, cooking. You squealed, seeing Sam and Dean already eating warily and you pouted, whining. "Why don't I get my food?" Crowley only chuckled, putting your food on the place and on the table. But there was something different as you sat which made you blush darkly. There was a note on your plate which had said, "I love you, my princess". You looked up but Crowley wasn't even there to which you pouted but began to eat, saving the note.
Every night after that, Crowley had come to hold you, cuddle you, make you breakfast in the morning and tucking you in at night.