Story Of A Searching Girl: junior year

August 12, 2017

Horrible to have to say I spent my last weekend of my summer at my brother's memorial. Luckily, it was not that bad. Crazy to say, Ryan went. In fact, it was because of my parents. They called him early that morning to persuade him to go. I don't know what they told them but I am actually happy they did. Ryan and I are on good terms with each other now. Charissa came to the funeral as well. I couldn't ask for anything more. I had both my best friends spend my last summer weekend with me. I also told Ryan that Charissa knew him and I had sex.

My summer was one day shorter than  belived. School actually started Monday not Tuesday. School was bad, but I feel like I even made it worse because I expected it to be horrible. I like my teachers and they aren't mean. They have not assigned and crazy hard and long assignments..........yet. I haven't really hung out with anyone at lunch nor really talk to anyone in class. I just am not in the mood to be around all of these people. I only talk to three people in three of my classes.

I talk to Robby in Calculus. Claculus is my 4th period. I sit next to him. He is the only person I know in that and also very smart. Usually, I wouldn't speak more than three sentences in that class. It is weird because I really did hope I had a class with him. I am 100% completely satisfied because I have a class with him yet I hardly speak to him.

I talk to Evan in Sociology. Evan is this senior who is on the football and wrestling team. Sociology is my 5th period and he also sits next to me. He is the only person I know in that class. Sociology is a class full of seniors.

Johnathon is the person I talk to in History. He sits next to me. I met him this summer at summer school. He is really weird. He either agrivates me or makes me laugh.

Biology, English, and Psycchology I don't really talk.

Something about the first few days of school was hard for me emotionally. I even had to cry a few times. I tried to tell Ryan that I was having a hard time and wanted to see him. He just kept saying we couldn't hang out because of Savannah. I couldn't understand that. He likes Savannah, but they are not dating and it isn't like I could do something that could make her feel a certain way about him. I just wanted my friend and the fact he said we couldn't hang out made me feel even worse.

The feelings I feel are hard to explain, but they hurt. today I stole some of my mom's antidepressants she has been taking for a while. They are called Citalopram Hydrobromide. They do make me feel better. In fact, I feel happier thaan I felt all week.