Story Of A Searching Girl: junior year

January 21, 2018

If, one year ago, I was told that the things I have done in the past three years would happen, I would not believe it.

"You will tell your dad that you had sex with Ryan."

"You would want to press charges again Robby and Ryan for sexual assault."

"You would want to get a restraining order against Ryan and Robby."

Never would have believed that. They were some of my closes friends, but they are a major reason why I just became so broken. It took me this long to realize this. In all honesty, I probably would not have admitted it without getting caught with Robby. So, I guess even though I did not want what happened to happen, I am still glad it did. The main thing that came out of the incident was the difference in the wait the wrestling guys see me. It probably is because they have their own belief in what happened and wouldn't believe what actually happened. It isn't that I care what they think of me or anything of that matter; What matters to me is the loss of respect they have for me now.

after the aftermath of this whole incident with Ryan, I realized that I needed to do something about all of this involving the court. So, I am now on a mission to do just that. I reached everything I needed to know if I decided to carry on with this.

Things I learned:

-Evidence of emotional or Mental pain damage is good

-If he was over 18 while you were under 18, he could be charged with rape

-Tell your parents, they will help you

-He will become a sex offender if you decide to go through with pressing charges

-Job choices and living choices will now be limited if he becomes a sex offender

-This could potentially ruin his life

Learning any of this did not make me feel a single ounce of sympathy for them. That is how I knew this was something I needed to do. In fact, reading all of this information made me realize how much I do not like them.

Step One: Tell My Parents

I knew the best parent to tell would be my dad. When my parents found out about what happened with Robby, my dad responded best to the situation. My mom would just keep bringing it up and making me feel bad and feel as if it was my fault for what happened. I believed it was best to tell him in a letter so I know for sure I would not leave anything out. I told him the morning of January 12th in the school parking lot. I thought it was smart to tell him before school so I would have a limited time to explain and talk about it. I didn't want it to be something that I would have to talk with him about for hours upon hours.

The Letter:

Dear Father,

I+ thought it was best to write this paper because I knew if I told you, I would probably forget to tell you important details that you should know. This is the most serious and the scariest thing I have ever and probably will ever tell you. After a wrestling meet, we had a talk about how 2017 was the worst year of my life. My brother's death was not the scariest thing that happened to me in 2017. You can't blame his death on anyone and he died with a good name. I was going to tell you this night however, I needed more time to think and I wouldn't be able to think very well that night because I had to pee very bad.