Drawings For Colby [A Colby Brock Fanfic]

xxiv : Thoughts

Well, I fell asleep pretty quickly, to say the least. The events of yesterday had rendered me tired.

I hadn't heard from Colby but it was 8am in the morning.

There are so many questions I want answers to. I try to push all my thoughts from my head out they flood back immediately.

Am I too quick to trust him?

Do I trust him?

Then, of course, there's the ones lurking in the back of my mind.

Connor.

I physically shake my head. I need to forget about him otherwise what was the point in moving to L.A.

But had I lost all my confidence too?

"Argh, stop" I whine to myself, closing my eyes and leaning back.

Maybe I'm just over thinking everything. I've only been here for two days, this is stupid.

It doesn't mean anything.

Besides, I can't love again.

Conn-

I leap up off my bed, scaring my thoughts away temporarily.

I'm wasting time. I need to go do something. I need to draw. I've gone two days without picking up a pencil because I've been hanging out with Sam and Col-

Ughh, it's no use.

Colby. It's stopped me from doing something I love. Drawing.

"He's bad news," I tell myself, "stay away, Ella"

With that, I open my tin of pencils and select a 2B. My incomplete drawings were already scattered messily over my desk but I reach for my sketch pad. I rip out a piece and get to work immediately. A draw rough lines all over the page, eventually depicting the setting I have in my head. It's not very pretty but I'll tidy it up on a day when I have a clear head.

I swap out my pencil for a 5B. I don't usually use the darker ones, as I like to be precise but this drawing is larger than most of my others, and needs that extra detail.