0.1 | saturday

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Um Addi,

It's me, you know... your big brother.

This is so stupid what am I even suppose to write to you?
I don't get this. You'll never see these and it's not like these will actually help me feel less guilty.

Dr.Tal told me to do this, since apparently 4 years of therapy isn't helping me overcome the loss of you.

I can't help but feel like if you were here with me now, I'd be happier.

I don't like Dr.Tal and you wouldn't either.
We'd probably make fun of him together because he's tall, lanky, and awkward. Then again if you were still here I wouldn't have a reason to see him.

What am I suppose to write about? How long does this need to be?

I said it before I know you're not going to see these, there's no way you could. There's still a small part of me hopes you will then you'll see how much I love you and you'll smile one more time because of me.

I always wanted to be someone you looked up too, not looked down on.
You wouldn't be proud of who I am now, I know you wouldn't.
You'd probably slap the back of my head and tell me to,

"get it together Isa"

I miss hearing those words Addi.

Mark Isaiah

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