D's pov;
Chris is worried for me. He has been inviting me out the past couple days. The last time we hung out was a week ago, since then I've just been working on the game, trying to get my mind off things. I hate it, but every day i have a tiny bit of hope that jul would just walk through the door and want to work with me, id have my friend back. But I decline Chris's offer usually, but this last time i said yes. Out of all the times i said yes, it's the time he wants me to talk to jul. He knows what happened, but he doesn't know how i feel about it. I'm not even fully sure he knows im sad about jul. Am i sad about jul? I don't know anymore. All i know is tonight im hanging out with Chris and Ross, and Chris wants me to text jul to ask if he wants to come. I don't know why he couldn't. Im not sure about a lot right now.
I'm still in bed, its about 2pm. Its very dark outside. Yet it still hasn't rained. I grab my phone off the night stand next to my bed. I open it. 20 unread texts and 10 missed calls. Maybe my mom, maybe my co-workers. I haven't come in for work. But i dont care. Ignore all of them that arent from chris.... or jul. I opened up jul's and I's text messages. We haven't texted for almost two weeks, since that night really.
-
D: Hey, Chris wanted me to invite you to hang out with us and Ross tonight around 6 at ross's house , so you up for it?
-
I tried not to stare at my phone waiting for a response. I wanted one so bad. I wanted my best friend back. It would make sense if i didn't get him back. I was terrible to him. But I want him back.
-
Jul: Hey!! Yea, sure i would love to hang out!! OOHH AND I HAVE A SURPRISE.
-
Surprise? Why is he so excited? I don't know. All i now is im sick to my stomach thinking about him. Why? I get up, leaving my phone behind, and rush to the bathroom to throw up.
(time skip)
I walk up to Ross's front door. It's almost 6:30. I'll have to explain to them that my uber canceled. Yay. I knock on the door. Chris answers, with a beer in hand. Great one of those nights. I honestly don't feel like a hangover.
"hey dude, you're really late you missed all the fun!" Chris shouted jokingly.
"I'm sure i did, chris." My voice is so monotone that people always think im mad or sad, so i hope he got i was sarcastic. I walked through the kitchen into the living room. I stopped in the door way. Jul was sitting on the couch, it felt weird to see him. I looked closer, his surprise . He was sitting next to jul, with his arm around him. I felt sick again, i wanted to cry. I don't know why. I don't think i like jul, i dont know what it feels like to like someone more than a friend. If this was it, i didn't want it. My best friend was sitting there with someone new, someone who might actually love him.
I sat down and said hello, i could stand a couple hours sitting with them. We played games. But as time went on, jul's friend, jacob, got more touchy, and i got more sick. It was a little past 9:30, i contemplated whether or not i should go home. There isnt any reason for me to stay.
"uhh, i'll be right back." I said, i suddenly didn't feel great. Jul was so close to jacob. What if i will always be his old best friend. I rushed into the bathroom, im pretty sure everyone could tell something was up. I looked in the mirror, i was paler than usual. I looked as if i was about to cry, because i was. There were dark circles under my eyes. Should I leave? I'm obviously not wanted.... by jul. I felt hot tears fall down my cheek, i couldn't help but sob. I lost him. He isn't mine anymore. Maybe i do have feelings for him, is that what these are.
I rushed out of the bathroom and to the door so that they didn't see me from the living room. Chris was waiting by the door, he grabbed me by the shoulder and got up close to my ear.
"Text me tomorrow, when im not drunk. i'll tell them that you forgot you had to edit something, just go" He let me go, i nodded, i was still sobbing so i would be loud if i talked. At least I have chris.
I want jul back, i want him to myself. I dont know if it is as a friend or not. But i do.
Jul's pov;
It's about 9pm. The night has been great so far. Except D looked sick. I wouldn't be shocked if he was. It's been so cold out lately. I wonder if it will ever rain or just look like its going to. It never rains in California so its a bit weird we are evening having cloudy weather.
Jacob has gotten along with my friends so well, i might ask him if he wants to be official when we leave ross's. He has helped me forget about D and everything that happened.... D oh god do i love him, but i cant have him and i have to accept that. I dont think wants to even be my friend, i mean fuck. I would love to still be around him....... As much as possible. I get worried about him sometimes. He only has Chris and I, and I've kinda left. Fuck i feel terrible.
"Uhh, I'll be right back." D said and ran into the bathroom. It was about 9:38. Something didn't mean right, he ran to the bathroom.
"I'm going to stand outside for a couple minutes, i need some fresh air." Chris said. I heard the bathroom door open, jacob and Ross didn't, they were finishing up a round in mario kart, seeing who was the champion. I could see d at the door talking to chris. Something was up, D left, he looked weird. I got kinda worried. Chris came back onto the room opening another beer. "Aye Ding had to go edit some stuff he forgot to the other week." I'm the only one that heard chris, and i knew it was a lie but i went along with it. D always stayed ahead in editing so he had time for the game and stream. Should i check on him? Was it appropriate to consider our relationship?
I wanted to help him. I wanted him. Still, even with jacob up, i'm in love with D. But i'll have to live with his choice.
I decided to leave, i called an uber and told jacob i didn't feel good. I honestly want to go to my apartment and cry. Will i ever be okay with d? i didn't want to think about a life without him. Thats already what its turning into. God i miss him.
YOU ARE READING
A L O N E - DingDulian
FanfictionA rejection, a day out, an old friend, and a sad man. - - - Slight triggers; Note: Chapters won't be as long as my usual stories, and I will keep writing the other ones, I just want to make a sad one. ❥
