A L O N E - DingDulian

{7} Scared

Jul's pov;

                           D hasn't answered my texts, or Chris's. It's been a week, he hasn't come out of his apartment. Im worried. I love him, I don't want him to hurt. I need him to be okay. He will always be my best friend no matter what has happened. Things have been hard for me. I dont know if its's been hard for him. He hasn't talked much, but that's probably because he was getting sick. Was he? Or maybe he was just working on the game, he probably was. or what if this has been harder on him than me? What if im a terrible best friend and didn't realize something was up?

                            Maybe i should check on him? I look at my phone, its about 4pm. I haven't ate. Ill text D one last time, if he hasn't texted by the time in done eating, I'l check on him, yea.

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Jul: hey D, you good??

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                         I had another message on my phone.

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Jacob: Hey, tomorrow can we hang out? It's good i promise, i just wanna ask you something?

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                        I know what he wanted, He wanted to ask me to be official. He is predictable. I don't text back, i only have one thing on my mind right now. D. and how he might not be okay.

                          My food arrives. No text. I get finished eating. No text. I have to check on him. Im scared. I'm physically shaking. I dont want him to get mad and i dont want him to be hurt. I grab my jacket because his apartment gets cold. Then, I fish around in my drawer to find a key to his apartment, he gave me his spare so he doesn't loose it. and we were always together so he would always have it. I close my apartment door behind me and open my phone. Its about 5:30.Its also still raining and cloudy which makes it seem later. I make my way to the staircase and go up a couple flights. I get out of the stairwell to see his door at the end of my hall. It feels like i haven't been here in forever. I unlock the door and open it. The smell of cigarette smoke hits me immediately. I look around, the tv is on, but the volume is so low its practically muted. The only lights in the room came from the tv. There has a bottle of vodka on the table. He wasn't in his living room. I slowly made my way to his bedroom trying not to trip. I opened the door. oh god.

                      There he was.  He was wearing a hoodie and boxers. The room was lit from the windows, which projected a cloudy sky. The only sound was the rain against the glass. There was dry blood on the ground in front of his bed. I walked up and sat in front of him. His sheets had drops of blood on them. I grabbed his hand, it was covered in dry blood that ran down from his wrist. Next to him was a note, a note book, A pack of cigarettes, an empty bottles of pills and a razor. I read the note, i started crying, tears silently fell down my face. It was a suicide note. The notebook was filled with drawings... Of me. D was sitting against the headboard of his bed. I felt his pulse, passed out. He was just passed out. I used my free hand to brush his hair off his forehead and eyes. His face  was wet. He was recently crying. My sweater was soaking wet with tears. I pulled out my phone and call 911.

                     "It will be okay D....." I said, gently kissing his forehead.