Jul's pov;
D went to the hospital. I sat in the waiting room all night while they did whatever they could. Chris stopped in at about 9pm and left at 2am. We decided not to go out publicly abut this until we see what happens. We were supposed to start recording again this week, but we will have to air our emergency videos.
As for D, He hasnt ate really anything the past week, and has only drank vodka. A couple of the cuts on his arms had to be sewed. As for taking the whole bottle of pills, I dont know how thats going, and i dont know how they fix it. Im not a doctor and never planned on being one. They are still working on him. It's about 7 Am. Its still raining outside. It never stopped last night, i would know because i left when chris came last night to get my car.
"Julian?" Said a nurse from across the waiting room waiting for me to come over. I got up and walked to her. I was very shaky so i stumbled a bit. " Ah you must be julian, here with.... D?" She said, I nodded. She was very calm and confused on why it said d on what they should call him, but i didn't care, the only thing i was concerned about was D. "well, They doctors were able to help. You called just in time though. He Is free to go home, he might need a little help around the house and stuff though. He will probably sleep most of today. Stomach pains and a sore arm will be normal, so if he does complain about it, give him on of these." She hands me a bottle of pills, great. "He will most likely throw up, so that normal too. If anything else happens though, call. Other than that you are good to go, D will be out in about 5 minutes."
"Thank you." She walked away. I grabbed my umbrella from where i was sitting and pulled my car around to the entrance where D and a Nurse were waiting for me. He was still wearing that sweatshirt and some shorts i brought him last night. God, was he cute. The nurse help him into the car so the wrapping they put around his stitches didn't come off. On the way back to the apartment they only noise in the car was the radio. D was asleep in the passenger seat.
When we got to the apartment D went straight up to his apartment and i followed to make sure he mad it safely. He left the door open, and the door to his bedroom. Did he want me to follow. After about a minute i decide to go in. I went into the bedroom, he had already lit a cigarette. He looked defeated, sad, scared. He was sitting in the same place he was the night before, it made me want to cry. The sweat shirt was the same one from the night before, blood stained. I didn't want to look at it. I went to his closet and grabbed a different one, then in his drawer and grabbed some boxers. I set them in front of him. He started to take off his sweat shirt as i picked up the note, which was still on the bed. I took his lighter and burned it.
"Never again. Now go take a shower." That's all i could get out. He took his clothes and silently went to the bathroom. As the bathroom door closed, i started sobbing. God, how did it get this bad? How did i get so lucky? How is he still here? Why was he like that in the first place? I knew the answer, i have the whole time, it was me. I didn't know if i was more upset because he tried to kill himself or because it's my fault. I thought back to the letter. He doesn't know how to feel. I cant blame him for trying to keep emotion out of his life. God i over reacted. I should have been fine with out having d like that, it almost costed him his life. My sobs become louder. I love him. I can't see him like this again. I take out my phone and open up messages.
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Jul: The answer to your question is no. I already know what you are going to say. Sorry i guess?
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I put my phone away and start cleaning up D's room. I take the razor blade off his bed and throw it out of the window.
D's pov;
The water is cold. But it does the job of getting dried blood off my arm and hiding my silent tears. I can't imagine how mad jul is at me. I took him away from time with his precious jacob. Why couldn't it have worked last night? I dont remember much. I remember passing out. I remember waking up at the hospital. That's really it. I dont know if jul was the one to find me, or when he did.
I got out of the shower and looked out the window as i grabbed my towel. Still raining, even though it was 8am, you couldn't see the set rise. I grabbed the wrap on the counter and start to wrap my arm but up. I looked up as the mirror, there i was. I was skinnier than last time i looked. Paler. More defeated. This was who jul used to like. I wonder if jul left. He probably doesn't trust me to be alone. I put on the clothes jul left for me. As i hung up my towel, i heard my washing machine turn on. He was still here. I took one last look at myself in the mirror. Fucking Disgusting. I walked to my room, there was new sheets on my bed, my notebook laying on them. The floor was wet where there used to be blood. A bowl of soup on my nightstand, waiting for me. I sat on my bed cross legged and started to eat. Jul did as of this for me. Tears started to build up in my eyes. He was sweet enough to do this, even after i put him through so much. I set my soup back down and looked down. My hair covered my eyes. Tears streamed down my face. I cry silently, i always have.
Something touched my shoulder. I looked over at jul. He grabbed my hand and pushed my hair out of my face to see i was crying.
"Im sorry." I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried into his shoulder. Thoughts from last night raced into my head. He grabbed my hand, he kissed my forehead, he called the ambulance. I cried harder. He pushed me off of him. Shit, i screwed up again. We sat there facing each other for a good 10 seconds before i tried to fill the silence. " Jul, i just, I couldn't handle it last night. I'm sorry, i put you through this. Im a dick. You can go be with jacob now, im sorry i ruined everything." I looked back down. He lifted my chin back up.
"D, no. Dont be sorry. I dont-" he said, but i cut him off.
"Jul, i think-" Oh god what am i saying, " I think i love you." I think this is love, i truly think it is.
"D," He said something else, but i wasnt listening. I watched his face as he talked. His lips. Before i knew it, i was kissing him. I couldn't help it. He put his hands on my face. I thought to push me off. He pulled me in. He kissed back.
"Jul, i cant live with out you. I need you. Everything has been because i need you." I said breaking off our kiss.
"Listen," jul said resting his forehead against mine, "Forget jacob, forget our job, forget everything thats happened. From now on it's just us. I cant lose to. I dont want to lose you." A tear went down his face. "I love you. I have been in love with you for as long as i've known you." I hugged him in a way where we fell over on to the bed, which made him let out a laugh. I smiled. This is it. This is how it is now. I have jul. He is mine. And i'll never let go.
"Thank you" I said.
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YOU ARE READING
A L O N E - DingDulian
FanfictionA rejection, a day out, an old friend, and a sad man. - - - Slight triggers; Note: Chapters won't be as long as my usual stories, and I will keep writing the other ones, I just want to make a sad one. ❥
