Keep Me Close

Forgive Me Angel

Erik POV
She truly was beautiful. I couldn't help but stare into her blue eyes. I was overjoyed when Lily invited her to dinner, giving me the opportunity to get to know her. Like I said, I don't think I could ever love another woman as I did Christine but there was nothing wrong with admiring, however I was drawn to her.
"Are you excited to begin high school?" Ms Allen asked her with interest. Lily continued to go on about the excitement, I tried to pay attention to the conversation but I kept getting lost in my mind. I couldn't help myself from looking at her. Her voice was like a siren to me... Then I felt someone kick me quite hard from under the table,
"Damnit!" I winced. Sierra looked at me concerned, as Lily gave me a angry look. I averted my eyes from her,
"Are you okay?" Sierra asked me placing her hand on mine. I felt as if a wave of energy just flowed through me by just one touch. Or was it the fact it had been so long since I've been in a woman's presence who I found intriguing and I was just being dramatic. The ladder most likely.
"Yes, quite fine." I muttered giving Sierra a polite smile.
"Excuse me but I have to go to the washroom" Lily said shooting me a glance to behave, the parent and child roles were really switched around right now. They seemed to do that every once in a while.
"She's grown up so much since the last time I saw her. What is she now almost 16?" She asked me curiously watching my daughter as she walked towards the ladies room. The look of endearment for my daughter prominent in her eyes.
"She will turn 16 in two months." I said as she looked back at me. She blushed under my stare and thats when my insecurities kicked in. I looked away from her, I could still feel her looking at me with her deep blue eyes, puzzled by me trying to break down my infamous poker face.
"If you don't mind my asking..." I knew it was too good to be true, she couldn't possibly find me of any interest, not a man in a mask. She was going to ask either about the mask or if the rumors about me being the infamous Phantom Of The Opera were true. Either would surely ruin any chance of anything.
"Do you own all of this? I mean this park? I remember briefly Lily mentioning something about her father owning Phantasma and I cannot help but ask if it was true." She said innocently. She still hadn't asked... I looked at her for a moment puzzled.
"Yes. I have for almost twenty four years." I said.
"I love it here, my mother used to bring me as a young girl when I first moved here from Ireland. I just want to thank you, for opening this place. I have some of my fondest memories of being here with my mother before she passed..." She said trailing off again at the end. I looked her as sadness came over her face. I hated seeing this look on a beautiful woman's face. I almost made me sad, I felt almost as if I was looking at Christine again when she was unhappy and how much it hurt me then.
"Im sorry. I also overheard your conversation with Lily earlier. Im sorry about the loss of your fiancé, but defending his best friend was a noble thing to do. I understand how you must feel though," I said thinking back to the night of the anniversary of the first year of Christine's death and how much of a mess I had been. I had sent Lily to Meg's for the night because I knew how ugly I was going to get, and I didn't want to traumatize the eleven year old. That was one of my worst nights beside the night of the fire.
Sierra looked up me with glassy eyes,
"You do?" She asked me confused.
"I lost Lily's mother almost six years ago..." I said. I never told many people about my Christine. One, because that would confirm the rumors about me being the Phantom, and second was that I never allowed many to get close enough to me to ask.
"Oh, Erik I'm so sorry" she said grabbing my hand. I flinched a bit this time, and she retracted her hand quickly. "Oh I'm sorry... I didnt-"
"No, no. Im sorry I'm just, well I haven't been-" i said fumbling over my words. She then retuned her hand on top of mine, I looked at her and she had a sympathetic look on her face.
"Me either. I haven't let many people in." She said, exposing me to her emotional vulnerability. I took her hand in mine tighter this time. "I haven't looked at anyone the same since Daniel" she said as a tear streamed down her face. My heart was hurting seeing somebody that understood all of my pain in this state.
"I haven't either. I can admire beauty but that seems to be all. I wish i could have somebody like her... I see happy couples around all the time, I envy what they have-"
"Sir, the young lady at the table left this for me to give you.", the young waiter said. He handed me a napkin with Lily's hand writing.

Father,
I saw you both talking. You looked a peace for once, I don't wish to take that away from you. She's been through a lot as have you, help her. Be someone's angel yet again, she needs a savior. Look at her arms.... She needs someone who understands, Father. Someone who knows the unbearable pain of loosing their love. Let the siren cast you in. Give in. I saw it when you looked at her. She looked at you the same way.
Mother would want you to be happy... Become an angel yet again. I know you still have it in you.
I love you. I shall be at the stables with Ramin.
Your only daughter,
L.R.D.

I read through the writing at least four times. Soaking everything I had just read. Look at her arms... Stuck out to me the most. What on earth are you talking about with her arms child? I thought to myself. Then Sierra reached up to adjust her hair and I saw them. I saw her demons. There were slices running up and down her arms, she was trying to cover them up with long sleeves on her dress. I should've seen it sooner, nobody in their right mind would wear long sleeves in the heat of summer. I felt my breath get caught in my throat as I stuffed the napkin into my pocket.
"Is everything ok? Where's Lily? She's been gone an awful long time." She said looking around for any sign of her. I only looked at this beautiful woman in front of me, so damaged and broken like myself. I hadn't addressed my own emotional damage in so long, knowing I had to cover it up and be there for others in my life. She wore a facade of happiness around other but now I could see her plain and simple.
"I'll go look for her in the bathroom," she said getting up, I reacted by grabbing her wrist and pulling her back into her seat. I shook my head, and pulled out the napkin. She looked at me confused.
"She told me she had forgotten she had a prior engagement with a friends of hers. Another old student of yours I believe, Ramin Karminloo?" I asked,
"Ah yes, a lovely boy. It warms my heart to hear they are still friends. I loved seeing Noel, Lily and him in my class. Always laughing and singing. They always knew how to brighten my spirits when I was younger." She said smiling and reminiscing. I smirked at her, and she noticed.
"What?" She asked me blushing.
"Nothing, a beautiful smile always has done a number on me." I said leaning forward onto my elbows studying her.
"Oh stop" she said waving me off. Her cheeks tuned a scarlet red under my gaze. I knew I had this effect on Christine when she was young but I didn't think anyone ever could let me have the same effect on them.
"Excuse me, waiter?" I said grabbing the closest memeber of the staff.
"Yes Mr. Y?" He responded.
"Please bring me a scotch and a glass of white wine?" I looked at Sierra and she mouthed to me "Red"
"Scotch and a glass of your finest red wine" I said to him as I smirked at Sierra.
"Yes sir" he said walking towards the bar. I looked back to Sierra and she was grinning.
"I find liquor sometimes helps loosen the conversation a bit" i said with a devious smirk.
"I couldn't agree more" she said blushing once again. I brought her hand to my lips once again placing a soft kiss on it, making her giggle nervously, and I flashed her a devilish grin.

I was going to do this the correct way this time. No more deceiving, no more blinding, no more trances. This was going to be real. There would be no more lies, no more senseless acts of cruelty. That was the phantom of the opera rage... He was no longer in my mind at this time. There was only Erik. I only hoped she would accept me for what I am, and what I've done.
I needed happiness, I craved it so much. I craved what other couples had, each other. Something I thought not possible only a few hours ago. I still had a chance,

Forgive me Christine.