Dear Matthew~ complete

18-matthew

Matthew pov.
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I look under Val's bed to get my phone as I see a box of converse shoes. " I didn't know you got a new pair of converse" I say.until I see something white sticking out of the sides. I take the box out from underneath the bed and stand up holding the box. Valerie looks at me and quickly says "Matthew don't open the box. Just give it to me" I ignore her and lift the box top open and see envelopes loads of them. Valerie suddenly stands up again and snatches the box out of my hands. " your not ready to see these yet" she says as she sets the box down beside her." I take a seat beside her again and say "Val what are those?" She looks at me and pushes her glasses up her nose just a bit and says " my feelings."

***
I stare at her in curiosity and just ignore it. Valerie's face expression changes and she suddenly says in a low voice looking down. " Matthew can you... be honest with me from now on?" I blink twice in amazement that she's even saying this to me. " Val look I know that taking that picture with Haley was not right but if you want me to be honest with you,then you have to like. I don't know trust me." I look up as she plays with her hands on her lap as she listens to me. She sighs and says " Matthew I do trust you. But sometimes I don't... like I do but then I don't. I have second thoughts and I start thinking dumb shit okay?!" My heart starts to beat fast when I say " Val baby. I have to go. I'll see you soon." I get up and climb out of her window... she really has hurt my feelings right now. How can my own girlfriend not trust me?

***
It's eight in the morning and I'm at my house on Saturday morning. My sister walks in my room and turns on the lights,"parisol what the hell?!" She laughs and says "mom says are you hungry or not?" I look up just a little bit to see her face. " nah not really I'm not in the mood right now" she sighs all of the sudden and comes my way towards the bed. She takes a seat on the edge of my bed and says "Matthew your my big brother and I know that sometimes I don't really appreciate you or what ever sisters are supposed to do for there own brothers....but you don't have to dumb yourself down for Valerie,we all know you've had your problems with her and all but today why don't you just hangout and have a great time and take pictures and be stupid. Go shopping or eat ice cream... do something besides feeling like shit for Valerie." I sit up and look at my own sister parisol. " thanks sis,and how do you know so much about relationships?" She laughs a little bit and says " I picked up a little from you and the others" I smile and say " well I guess you do love me then if you care so much about how I feel." Parisol rolls her eyes and laughs "what ever... now do you want food or not?" She says as she gets up and walks towards the door. I rub the back of my head and answer with a "yeah I'll be down there in a sec."

***
Once I dress up in some casual and comfortable clothes,I go downstairs and find my brothers and sister and my mom all at the kitchen table... a big table for all of us and two empty chairs. One for me and the other. For my dad. But since he works until the weekends he's never home during the week so he just comes home during the weekends. They all look up when I enter the room and my mom smiles and says "morning son,how do you feel?" I take my seat and say "okay and not the best.but I'm okay" she smiles barley even a smile and says "oh...well I just want you to be happy and have some breakfast". I know my mom and my whole family know that I'm going through something with Valerie. They always know when something's up with me and her. I've been with Valerie for five years almost six. Of course they can tell when I'm in a shitty mood.

***
It's passed lunch and I'm with Austin and and Matt in my room. They lift weights while I lay on the floor. Austin goes on about how he really likes this girl from this one school, " like she's really something, she's different. And she's not clingy or anything" Matt laughs and says " bro most girls wait for the guy to text them first unless they just text you first and you write her and so forth it just goes on".I sit up as they both turn to look at me like if they wanted me to say something. "What?" I ask as Austin says " don't you have anything to say about this whole girl situation?" He lifts up both of his arms trying to lift,he puts the weight down in the bar as I say " no not really.... well yeah I kinda do. Like girls are the type of human being that get their feelings hurt all of the time and they always think the craziest things even though we aren't doing anything and they also want you to be honest which is a good thing. But like what I'm trying to say is that girls want someone to be their for them and comfort them when they need it. They want someone to tell their secrets to and to share their feelings." Both Austin and Matt stare at me like if I just got done talking about math. Clueless. Austin sighs and takes a seat beside me. " listen bro we understand your going through something with Valerie,you don't have to give me advice about girls when your going through something with your own" he slaps my back lightly and stands up again to go lift waits.... even my own friends know when I have problems.

***
That night Valerie texts me...

Valerie- hey Matthew how are you?

I stare at my phone screen. She usually says babe or baby.but I'm guessing she knows that she made me feel bad. I turn to my side and leave my phone beside me and don't text her back.i turn on my tv and start flipping through the channels when someone knocks on my bedroom door. And it can't be Valerie....

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I get up from my bed and go open my door. I see her standing there looking at me with a smile a grin whatever the hell is girls do when they flirt with guys... Haley stands at my door way just looking at me." Hey math math" she says as she walks past me and into my room. I gulp and say " uh-Haley W-what are you doing here?" She looks at me and says " well I just came to see what you were up too. I'm surprised the trash ( ain't) here" she smirks and laughs to her self. Is she seriously talking about my Valerie right now in my own house and in my room???.... I look at her with my face cold I can feel my face and cheeks heat up of the anger that just hit me " what the fuck Haley! I never invited you over here first of all and I don't know why you think you can just show up here acting all innocent like if you never did some stupid ass shit that damaged me! And why are you here anyways did you come thinking that I was gonna take you back?! Well guess what I'm not and I never WILL!! Your a hoe,a bitch...slut!." I finally say at the end as she stares at me with a face that reads( okay okay I get it you hate me) she opens her mouth to speak. But nothing comes out. She clears her throat and walks out of my room slamming the door behind her.

***
Ughhh I'm so pissed off... I lay in my bed and just fall asleep (wishing that Valerie never hurt my feelings. )Even though I told the guys that girls need someone to tell their feelings to and be there for them. I guess guys need that to.

***
8:00am
•••
I wake up and smell the roses.... pushttt I wished I smell no roses and I'm still mad from last night how Haley could just come to my house she's awful!... I go downstairs and try and make myself some breakfast when I suddenly realize I never texted Valerie back. I run back upstairs to my room and check my phone.

5-New messages
•••
Valerie- Matthew plzz answer me

Valerie-helloooo????

Valerie-Matthew...babe what did I dooo????

Valerie- I'm sorry for what ever I did..???

Valerie-fine...just don't talk to me anymore if you don't wanna and just forget about me and never speak to me again...you will always hurt my feelings and it doesn't matter in what situation we are in. You never stop!....leave me alone for good.

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I stare at my phone screen wishing that I would have answered her back. The last message is what really has gotten to me. I quickly call her cell. But no answer. I toss my phone on my bed not giving a shit if it breaks or not. And start to worry.

***
Parisol enters my room with my mom as she says " see mom I told you something's up" I sit up from my bed and say " what are talking about?" Parisol and my mom both stare at me. Mom comes to my bed and takes a seat, " Matthew honey,something's wrong so why don't you tell us or me?" I feel shaky in the inside as I try to re-generate my Brian from Valerie to now. Parisol leaves my room before I tell her to get out. " well Valerie texted me last night and..." I trail off and stop talking.mom pats my back and says " tell me I can help" I try to tell my mom how I feel but it's just so hard to tell her all of my feelings.so I just lay back down like a big baby and sigh. My mom just sighs and gets up and walks towards the door. And before she leaves my room she says "things happen for a reason son."

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