Searching for You (An Attack on Titan Fanfic)

Chapter 8: Shallow

-Levi's P.O.V.-

That night I finally let her go she left. But not by running, instead it was by a bright light. That was the last time I saw her. She was still beautiful and I imagine that she still is no matter what. I'll never forget her though, how can I?

She's gone now, but that doesn't mean her memory won't live on. She was sweet and kind to everyone who she met, well almost everyone. Her father (who also dissapeared that night) was the only person she wasn't kind to. Even though she's dead, she still takes up most of my heart. She was a ghost, a ghost everyone could see. Because of that everyone was able to touch her and it felt lke she was actaully alive. It was just an illusion though. A painful one. 

If I had known that the day I would have to let her go would've happen so soon, I would've never said anything at the castle in the forest while we were there. I would've never gotten angry. I would've stayed calm and collected and let her say whatever she wanted. She always let her anger out by yelling at the exact person who pissed her off. That's just how she was, but I just made everything worse. By fightng back and pissing her off even more. I lost her as soon as I did that. I should've just kept my mouth shut. 

She'd still be here if it wasn't for that. I'm so stupid I swear, I lost her once and then I ended up loosing her two more times after that. Both of which were my fault. She was perfect just the way she was. Her smile that could cheer anyone up and how kind she was to everyone. How could I have been so stupid?

I slammed my hand down on her gravestone and fell to the ground. I didn't care if I got dirty or not honestly. I looked up at her gravestone and read it. It just said her name, the years she was born to when she died and that she had left too soon. She did leave too soon, she wsan't that old either. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, but when I turned around there was no one there. I turned back to the gravestone and sighed. I put the flowers I had right at the base and stood up. I stared down at it a little longer before turning around and walking away.

Thankfully it didn't take me long to get back and to my office. Once in I shut the door and locked it. Today everyone had off so I know I'm not going to be disturbed. At least I shouldn't be. I looked around and thought of all the times she was in here and how she hated how it smelt. She said it always smelt like lemon cleaner. I chuckled at the thought and sat down at my desk. It was quiet, well excpet for the fact that I could hear everyone outside yelling and joking around. 

I started on some paperwork I had until I felt that cold hand on my shoulder again. I turned around once more and didn't see anyone but when I turned back around I saw a letter. It wasn't there before. I reached for it and picked it up. Before I even opened it I saw my name on it, but it was written in a very familar handwritting. I opened it and started reading it.

"Levi, 

I know this is way overdue but I was too  scared to do this. But anyways, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've put you in so much pain and I've left you alone. I tried holding on as long as possible but I just couldn't anymore. It was too hard and I was just too weak. Don't blame yourself though, this was bound to happen anyways. Remember I was a sick child for the most part and I guess it finally caught up to me. I don't know what I had but I know it was pretty bad. I wasn't even supposed to live as long as I did but I somehow did though. I guess that vile I took just made the process go faster. 

I wish you could see me now though, you'd be proud. Well I hope you'd be proud. I look a lot better than I did before I passed away. So I guess you would be proud of me. Thank you for letting me go though. I didn't want to go at first but now I'm glad you did. Also don't worry I'll be waiting for you. I'll always wait for you, I promise. Remember I never break my promises so you can expect me to be waiting for you. 

Maybe it's time that I go, cause I'm right here in front of you but you don't even notice. I love you Levi and I'll always be here with you. Waiting for you no matter how long it takes. Goodbye for now though.

~Ada"

I re-read the letter a couple more times before looking up and seeing the silver haired, yellow eyed girl I fell in love with. I stood up and walked towards her. She was a ghost, I know that much and I know it too well. "If you still love me just tell me you do. Cause I'm here and just wanna know," she whispered. I walked closer to her and smiled faintly. "I still do love you Ada, I always will," I said, "because even though you're a ghost, you're still taking up most of my heart." She smiled at me and leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye Levi. I'll see you when it's time," she said smiling. I nodded and then she left with a white light. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I wiped it off and rolled my eyes a little. "Tch, that brat made a tear fall," I said. I went back to my cold expression and unlocked my door. 

I walked out my door and shut it behind me. I walked outside right after and saw Eren, Mikasa, Armin and the others playing some type of game. I walked past them and to a bench and jsut watched them. They're good cadets and a wonderful team. Mikasa being the strongest out of them all but Armin being the smartest and Eren, well Eren is Eren. I watched them a little more before deciding to go to my room. 

Once in my room I layed down on my bed and drifted into a sleep. A very peaceful sleep, one that I enjoyed very much. One that I will wake up from.