Falling Into His Arms- Ivan Martinez Fan Ficiton

Chapter 19

Hey so I've chosen a winner for some of the chapters and it's @randomess36 !!!

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A couple weeks later

I wake up and feel absolutely shit. I felt more depressed than I have ever.
"Babe, you awake?" Ivan rolled over and kissed my cheek.
"Yeah." I said quietly.

I get out of bed and go into the bathroom.
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I cut 23 times on my wrist and hips combined.

I slid on leggings and a white crop top with white Adidas Superstars.
Then straightening my hair and putting on a white cap as well as splashing on some make up.
I knew I needed professional help but I didn't want it. If any of the fans found out I would be ruined forever.

I walk downstairs and sit on the counter waiting for everyone else to wake up. I hear Erika starting her vlog and coming downstairs.
"Oh great you're up! I need your help with a prank on the ratchets (Emilio, Ivan, Anthony, and Chance)." She says pointing her camera to me.
"What is it?" I ask putting my phone down.
"Grab the merch gun and shoot then with it." She smiles her evil smile.
"Okay." I get off the counter and go grab it since it was on the couch.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Erika follows me to the couch.
"Nothing. Can you hand me some merch?" I ask her. She nods and grabs a shirt.
As she hands me it she gets a glance at my wrist.
"Sam, what happened to your wrist?"
At this point she wasn't recording.
"Nothing." I say taking the merch and rolling it into the gun.
"Sam, seriously. What happened?"
Erika is like my mom/sister. This is going to be hard telling her. I need to at least try to lie.
"Let's just go do the prank." I start to head down the hallway. "Sam, stop. Tell me what happened!" She says a bit louder.
I drop the merch gun and take her outside.
I pull the side of my leggings down to show her the rest.
"Sam, what is it? Oh... no."
She finally caught on.
Erika doesn't call me a freak or walk away. She hugged me tight and I hugged her back.
"Don't worry, we will get through this."

We talked for a bit longer about me going to a therapist.
"Well, Logans girlfriend, Charlotte, is a therapist. Maybe you can talk to her?" Erika asks.
"Yeah. I'll call up Logan later." I say.
"Hey, smile. You are beautiful and worth it. I don't wanna see you cutting anymore. You are way to pretty for that." She smiles and pets deon my shoulder. I smile back and nod.
"Come here."
She holds me and rubs my back.
"Does Ivan know?" She asks while pulling apart. I shake my head, no.
"Are you gonna tell him?" She asks.
"I don't plan on it any time soon. I think I need a bit." I say.
"Okay."

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I'm at Logan's apartment/in his and his girlfriends bedroom. Logan and his roommate went out for a bit so we had time.
"So, when did you first start?" Charlotte/the therapist asks me.
"Couple months back." I answer.
"Why?"
"I don't know. Way of release I guess."
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