Camera Shy || Ben Barlow

Thirteen

Neck Deep had an astonishing amount of days off and, today, we had one in Paris. West and Sam had disappeared ages ago, but they had their phones on them so we assumed they'd be alright by themselves. I was worried about them for a short while but soon realised that they were both older than me and definitely didn't need babysitters. 

Dani, however, one hundred percent needed a babysitter; he kept running off to little market stalls without telling anyone where he was going, so we'd turn around and suddenly realise he'd disappeared. Keeping track of him was an absolute nightmare, in all honesty. In the end, we decided we couldn't lose him if we were walking up the Eiffel tower. Fil went first, then Dani, then Cara, me, Ben, and Zach. 

I was painfully aware that Ben was right behind me, just a couple of steps, but also painfully aware that I wasn't affecting him the way that he was so obviously affecting me. He had to have noticed, by now, that something was off me with me. Right? I had no way of knowing. Again,  I found myself wanting to talk to Fil about it but, in the same moment, knew that I couldn't. I couldn't risk him telling Ben about it; I couldn't make being at work any more weird than it already was. 

Approximately ten minutes up the stairs (we'd lost count of the actual stairs ages ago), Dani started complaining about his feet hurting. I was glad for the distraction, and the rest every time he stopped the group (and a poor bunch of tourists behind us) so he could sit down for a minute. I got a few cute pictures of poor Dani sulking on the steps, Fil impatiently standing ahead of him. 

"Are we there yet?" Dani whined, stopping for a moment to rub his ankles.

"Does it look like we're there yet?" Ben groaned back, looking as though he was also regretting the decision to take the stairs rather than the lift. 

"Yeah," Dani said, cheerily, sounding much happier than he had a second ago, most likely just to upset Ben. Upsetting Ben was a talent of Dani's, I'd noticed. "Yeah, it does."

"Shut up," Ben responded in a tired huff. 

"How are you all this unfit," Cara asked, seemingly completely fine, "When you jump around for hours at a time for a living?"

"I wouldn't call it a living, per se," Fil said. "For Dani, it's more like 'for a five minute shopping spree', and then he's scavenging for spare change and someone else's cash card." I'd like to have believed that he was joking, but I honestly couldn't convince myself that Dani was capable of managing his own money in any kind of sensible way. 

"Oh, as if you don't jump around on stage for a few hours just for food?" Dani shot back. Fil raised his hand to his chest in shock horror. 

"How dare you accuse me of such a thing?" He said, forcing himself onto the next step, draggin Dani up the stairs with him, the rest of us begrudgingly following suit. 

"Lets be honest," I said, in an attempt to come to Fil's defence, and Dani's, to an extent, "I spend most of my money on clothes and food."

"And you still own no Neck Deep merch whatsoever," Ben said, jokingly, powering on behind me. He didn't sound like he was struggling with the steps quite as much as I was, but it definitely wasn't a walk in the park for him either. "You're literally best friends with the merch team. What are you even playing at?"

"Maybe I don't like your merch," I fired, even though he and I both knew that it was a lie. No one spoke.

In total, it took us nearly forty minutes to reach the top, despite being told it should have only taken us half an  hour; I was inclined to blame Dani, but it rapidly became apparent that I was absolutely terrified of heights.

I'd never been this high up before, not with a clear view of high I really was. I was painfully aware of how hard I'd hit the ground if I were to fall, even though I knew the barriers were keeping me from going anywhere. "Are you alright?" Ben asked, placing a tentative hand under my elbow. It was uncharacteristic of him, something I'd have expected from Fil, Zach or Cara.