Today, Forever, And Always

34

TRIGGER WARNING: If your triggered with self been topics skip this chapter. Nothing graphic.

Annie's POV
I rummaged through the drawr. My tears soaking everything in sight. I found my burner. My emergency only phone. The phone that gives your location away if you make a call. And in the case was something I haven't used in  7 years, 9 months, and 25 days. I ran outside, and hopped in the car. The flow of tears not stopping even for a second, just getting heavier. I drove to a spot. Where no one would find me, unless I wanted them to. It was a house. Which I bought two years ago. I was renting it but I stopped, it gives me somewhere to go. To disappear to. I struggled unlocking the tall doors. I ran into the bathroom. I pulled the case apart. I stared at it. The blade I used the day Caleb passed. I was only 10... I examined it. My tears washing away the stained blood. I flip the lid up, and flush it. I flush the tiny piece of metal that had such an impact on me. I fell to the floor. Sobbing.
"I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry bubba. I'm sorry I've blamed you for everything. I'm sorry I've been mad at you for leaving me like that. You didn't say goodbye Bubba." I sob. I sit there. In a pool of my tears, blood staining my clothes. I may have thrown away that burden. But I needed another one. I needed to feel some other pain. Pain that should remind me that it's not worth it. You have people that love you. But that pain. That pain is always gonna be with you. Reminding you. You've been to this place before and it got better. You live with that pain everyday. But. In a weird way it makes you stronger. I sit there. For hours. No one knows about this place, this phone. Nothing. I'm alone. I look down at my ring. He's always with me isn't he. And Caleb. I grab my thumbie and hold it close to me. I stand up. I turn on the shower. I strip down and hop in. The rushing water washes away the blood. The water at my feet becomes a deluded red.
............
I feel sick. I can't face anyone right now. So I decide to stay at the house for a while. I text Hayden. Because that's all I can do without giving off my location.
Annie💜: Hey, it's Annie. Don't worry about me. I'm okay. I promise. I can't tell you where I am. But I'll be back soon. I just need some time by myself. I don't want you to feel like I'm shutting you out. You didn't do anything. I'll explain when I see you. Just need to clear my head for a while. I love you so much. Ttys 💜💜💜
He replys instantly.
Hayden💜: what?! Are you sure your okay? What happened.
I let it go. I feel sick to my stomach. Guilt? No..
I lean over the toilet puking my brains out. I get dressed and throw on a sweater. I run out to the car. I drive to the smallest town I can find. No one can see me doing this.