Whatever You Want, Draco Malfoy || Drarry

Chapter Ten

"You have to do it."

On some level, Draco knew it was a dream because this isn't how it went.

"Kill me, Draco," Dumbledore was saying. "It's part of the plan. You must do it."

Before, Draco had said he had to because Voldemort would kill him if he didn't. And probably the rest of his family, but Draco assumed he'd be dead before he could find out.

It was supposed to be cold. Draco remembered being so cold his fingers hurt, but the dream only held the fear, paralysing and horrible. He knew what he had to do, but... he had never killed anyone, couldn't imagine killing anyone.

You had to mean it to cast an unforgivable curse. And somehow, Draco knew in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't do it, couldn't mean it enough to cast the spell. Or maybe, he could, that Draco could kill Dumbledore that- he didn't know how to see himself as that person, to live with himself as that person. It was far, far better to be the coward and never know.

"I can help you," Dumbledore said, his pale blue eyes- Draco could remember the colour, but he couldn't remember his expression. Had it been imploring or pandering, or had Dumbledore simply been buying time?

"I can protect you and your family," Dumbledore said, or was that-? It had been something like that.

Draco tried to shake his head, to leave that horrible tower but couldn't seem to move; his legs felt like they were made of lead.

"I knew. I knew about your mission since the beginning. Professor Snape told me everything," Dumbledore told him. "He was my spy. I knew about the necklace and the poisoned mead. I let you stay here to protect you."

That wasn't right. That wasn't right. Draco didn't want to be here; he didn't want to see this. He just wanted to forget. He didn't want to think about any of this.

Draco looked up, feeling a presence by his side.

Professor Snape was standing beside him. Around both of them, blurred into looming shadows, were the other deatheaters, so much bigger and stronger than Draco had ever been. And as Draco became more aware of them, he saw flashes of their expressions, how annoyed and impatient with him, and he felt smaller and smaller.

Professor Snape grabbed him by the back of the neck, his hand twisting the material of his robes tight around his throat.

Draco remembered this, but it was from when they were escaping. Professor Snape had pushed him through the fighting and out of Hogwarts by the nape of his neck like a dog.

There was no running this time.

"You have to kill him, Draco," Professor Snape said.

"It was always going to end this way," Dumbledore said. "You never had a choice."

"You don't have a choice," Professor Snape said, "You must do this."

Draco couldn't. He couldn't-

Professor Snape's grabbed Draco's wrist with his other hand, raising Draco's wand to point at Dumbledore.

Draco desperately tried to pull away even as his robes grew tighter and tighter around his throat until he couldn't breath and-

Draco woke with a violent start. He sat up, frantically throwing the blankets off himself and gasping, looking frantically around the room until his thoughts calmed enough to recognise where he was. Potter's flat.

He went from feeling suffocatingly hot to shivering as his sweat began to cool on his skin. Draco slowly peeled the softest blanket from the pile and pulled it around his shoulders. His shivering didn't stop even as he began to warm.