How I Wonder What You Are (A Byul Fanfiction)

Chapter 16

1-2 months after the concert

"Ah... my brain is empty, and I still don't know what to write next! Why did RBW put me up to this?" Byulie groaned and pushed the laptop she was typing on away from her. Beside her, Yongsun laughed and put the laptop back in front of her, saying, "The deadline for your script is three days later, and you've only finished half of it! You can do this if you stop groaning and moaning."

The two of them were over at Yongsun's house, where Yongsun was helping Byulie out with her IDOT script. A week ago, Byulie had been full of excitement about writing the script, and Yongsun had agreed to help readily, thinking that it wouldn't be hard especially since both of them had acted in dramas before; now, three days away from the deadline, both idols were wondering how they had ever been so enthusiastic about the project.

But while Byulie was pulling her hair in irritation of having writer's block, Yongsun secretly rejoiced at being able to have Byulie to herself, for an entire week. Later on, towards the end of May and June, the two would rarely be able to meet, because Byulie would be away filming for IDOT and be preparing for Girls Next Door's debut, with a bunch of pretty idols -- with Seulgi among them. Byulie and Seulgi were close friends, and Yongsun mildly wondered if Byulie wanted to be closer to Seulgi than she admitted.

That thought brought up a memory, and a promise, one that Yongsun had nearly forgotten about due to the hectic life since Curtain Call had happened. It was a memory that brought with it uncertainty, pushing the happiness of the moment aside for her. Yongsun stopped wriggling around on the large bed they were sat on, and stared at Byulie, her expression unreadable.

Byulie immediately noticed the sudden change in Yongsun, and stopped tapping at the keyboard to turn to her. "Is something wrong?" Byulie asked, concern eminent in her voice. Yongsun felt comforted by the amount of care Byulie had shown her, even when she hadn't really done anything, and for a second she felt like she shouldn't remind Byulie of the promise she had made to her.

No, I have to ask her. She promised me -- and I don't want to feel so uncertain anymore.

"Byulie, do you remember what you promised me, while we were resting before our concert?"

As Byulie realized what Yongsun was talking about, her eyes grew solemn. "Yes." Yongsun didn't say anything more, just gazed into Byulie's eyes, willing her to speak the truth. Byulie sighed, and started to speak.

Long after Byulie had left, her words still reverberated in Yongsun's mind. Even as she lied down on the bed that night, telling herself to go to sleep, she stared without seeing at the ceiling, the fresh memory of their conversation flashing in front her eyes instead. Questions tumbled around in her mind:

Do I feel happy, satisfied, jealous, or sad? I just don't know... what did I expect? Do I really want another answer? It could have been worse... but it could be better -- or could it?

Those questions, and many more, kept Yongsun awake for what could have been hours, days, years -- it was a long time before she decided to give up trying to sleep.

Instead, she reached for her phone.