A/N Had to combine these they were pretty short and are prewritten :) didn't want to cheat you guys!
~ Chapter 14/15
I took the elevator to my room to get my things since I was leaving this beautiful life. I came to me and Shawn's room. I went to grab the handle. I didn't have a key. I groaned and sat down on the door mat. Why. I stood up and looked over the railing. I think I was on the 4th floor. I seemed pretty high up. I could just jump over. End all of this. Be with my mother and father. Be with my family. I looked over the railing. The wind blowing through my hair. I looked at the people, fans down at them. Oblivious that there was a human being up here, staring their bodies and faces. I put my leg over the railing. I could say I was afraid of heights. I saw a few people look up at me. They looked so tiny. Only a few people were looking at me. Only a few people noticed me struggling through this hell hole called life.
I sat on the railing, one little move and I would fall to my death. My dress was swaying in the wind. I hated some of these fans. I wanted them to know what they do to people. I wanted to commit suicide for a long time. I sat there, a few more people noticing me. I took one of my hands off of the rail, here I go. Goodbye Cameron. I started to cry. Goodbye, Shawn, Matthew. I would now meet my parents again. I started to cry more. Is this how pathetic I was? I thought I was better. I took my other hand off and balanced myself on the rail. I put my hands on the side ready to push myself off.
I sat in my sunflower dress as my hair fluttered in the wind like a happy spirit. I looked down as fans started to move away, like they didn't want my blood to get on them. Or maybe they were just creating a path for me. A plan for where I was going to land. I felt like I could fall asleep right here. Even as I heard screams from the people below, it seemed like it was the most peaceful I ever was. I began to push myself off. It was time for me to rest, disappear, die.
I let go, of everything. It was over right now. I was looking straight at the ground, basically my pinkies connecting me to the fence.
I let go. I was now surrendering to the dark world to meet a brighter one to meet my family and people that wanted me around. It was over.
As soon as I let go somebody grabbed my arm. No, they should've let me die. I turned around full of fire. "Why didn't you let me go," I said dangling by my arm, hanging off of the railing. If he let me go I would fall. I looked up, of course. Shawn was holding me. My mascara and makeup probably looked like crap. I tried to wiggle out of his grip. Just let me fall. Let me go.
I looked at his face. "LET ME GO!" I screamed with tears probably falling on the concrete below me. I used my other arm and scratched his hand trying to pry it off. "Stop." He said calmly. "LET GO!" I said screaming looking at the floor. "STOP IT CORA!" Shawn screamed at me. I just wanted to die. I wanted to die, I want to die. He pulled me up and used both of his arms, acting like I was the lightest thing in the world. His hand was bleeding from my clawing. He pulled me completely over and he pulled me into his arms. He sat down cradling me. I want to die.
He put me on his bed and told me to stay where I was. I still was very tired. For god sake, I just tried to kill myself. He went to the bathroom and washed his hand, and put a few band aids on it. I stood up and looked at the mirror on the wall. My dress was ripped, and my arm was quite bruised. "How did you know I was going to do that," I said not wanting to really call it what it really was, suicide. "Nash said he saw you yelling at Cam so I went up here to check on you; They're still practicing though." I went over to him and hugged him.
"So why'd you do that out there?" I guess he didn't want to label it either. "Just, nobody really cares about me, or wants to just be there and take care of me. And Cam just confirms it." I said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear me. Shawn turned off the water. "Cam?" He said slightly pissed. I nodded, he saw me in the bathroom mirror from where he was. He turned around. "CAMERON DID THIS?" He said turning almost red from his anger. He grabbed my arm again. I started to cry again. He turned around and hugged me, still angry. "Don't ever do that again." He said squeezing me. He still held my arm and took my out of the room.
~
WHERE ART THOU GOING?
