Tales Of The Broken - Watty Award Story

~*6*~ I Can't Seem To Win...

Chapter 6

"ASHER LENNOX FOXX! What in the name of hell were you thinking!? I had to call your father and tell him to come back from his ASSIGNMENT!"

I stared at her with my sunken eyes, emotionless. Mother was crying, screaming, cursing in ways I shouldn't repeat. She was upset with what I had done. What had I done? I had gone to the Brooklyn Bridge and tried to throw myself off. But the people from school had come in two cars and caught me just before I fell and threw me into the car. Even before many people knew what was going on. They were here right now, staring from each couch at me. They were also worried because I had slashed my wrists, kind of deeply, just before while I was in my car. In case someone stopped me, I could still die. That had failed too.

When they brought me back home - Jackal had directed them here - Amelia stitched and wrapped up my wrists tightly. And the blood loss had made me tired and, I guess as a delayed reaction to my schizophrenia, my eyes had sunken in, I looked much skinnier, my skin was super pale, and my hair was stringy.

"Ash, why would you do something like this?" she asked, tears trailing down her cheeks. Michelle and Star went to her. Izzy was sitting beside me, and I was clutching desperately to her small hand with my suddenly boney fingers.

"I'm going to die eventually..." I said in a monotone. I didn't have enough will to have emotion anymore. "Why not now?"

That brought more tears to mom's eyes. "Asher, baby, I realize your disease is making you see and think things, but please! Never listen to them," she begged.

"It was my own choice," I whispered. "I had to go to her. I saw her."

"And she told you to go to her, didn't she?"

I shook my head slightly, my eyes never leaving her as she continued to pace. "She told me to live, not die." I saw mom open her mouth but I stopped her. "I want to be with her. But I don't want to go. So I figured the quicker I go, the more chance I have that no one will miss me and I can die in peace."

"We'd miss you, Ash." I looked down at Izzy. She was smiling and squeezing my hand. Just then Eric ran into the room, straight towards me, and climbed onto my lap. He wrapped his arms around my neck and smiled a gapped toothy smile at me.

"Asser! Are you sick?" he asked. He was the perfect look of innocence, and he made me smile. The first time I had even made any emotion for four hours at least.

But my smile slipped as I looked into his wide, innocent blue eyes. "Yeah, buddy," I said slowly, wrapping my arm around his back and burying my face in his neck. "I'm very sick. If I seem different to you, don't worry about it, alright?"

He stood on my thighs and moved my head away. Eric was gently passing a hand over my bruised looking eyes. Then to my hollow cheeks. And too my boney looking fingers. Eric looked up into my eyes, his own shining with tears. "You're skinny," he whispered. For an autistic boy, he knew a lot of words. "Asser, why are you sick?"

"Your big brother has some..." I looked away from him and looked at the people around me. Even Mitchie, who I had screamed at this morning. They all looked at me with concern, and were in my own living. I glanced at Izzy for a moment before looking at the hand she held. I'm not sure how my hands had gotten so skinny, but she was practically holding bones in her hand. "He has some issues. There's no way he can get rid of them. I might be hurt sometimes, and if I am, scream, alright?"

He nodded vigorously, then wrapped his arms around my neck again. "Get better, broder," he whispered. His arms tightened. "I wove you."

"I love you too, pal." I picked him up and set him on the ground again. "Go upstairs, and I'll be up in a minute, alright?" He nodded again and dashed away, crawling up the stairs.