Deal. {Ashton Irwin}

Chapter 7.

Chapter 7:

The constant sound of the ball hitting the back board is over run by the load music bursting into my ears. I bounce the ball to the beat, my eyes taking aim on the hoop, I wrap my fingers around the ball, bend my knees and shoot.

Another miss.

I’m used to missing, widely that doesn’t make me angry. I use basketball to take my anger out, letting the adrenaline rush to punch someone escape as I throw the ball.

I run to get the ball, one of my ear pieces falling out, letting the sound off in another direction. I harshly shove it back in and grab a hold of the ball once again.

Music and basketball are my life, and when you put them together their my safe getaway.

Music is my Mum and basketball is my Dad.

I ‘hm’ to the lyrics as I focus back at the goals.

The ball goes flying to prove another miss.

I do the same routine.

Bounce the ball,

take aim,

shoot,

collect the ball

and try again.

I think I’ve been doing this since I was 15. Coming home after a test I know I did bad in, or upset because the other girls made fun of me in front of a guy I liked or even anger that has just built up over time.

When I was 15 that’s when my Dad passed. So basketball is the only thing I feel clothes to him, even sometimes imaging he is there on the court making fun of how I skip when I’m about to doge, or they way I let my hair fall in my face when I focus on shooting. I always feel like basketball will forever be what my father and I share, and nothing will change that.

I miss again as my iPod shuffles  through my music, choosing the next song to play.

I bounce the ball as the songs instrumental starts.

I smile at the memory it plays back in my mind.

I found God, On the corner of First and Amistad, Where the west, Was all but won

He throws me up in the air, letting the drips from my wet hair fall on his face.

All alone, Smoking his last cigarette, I said, "Where you been?”, He said, "Ask anything”.

He holds me in the air, spinning me round like a ribbon stuck in a fan.

Where were you, When everything was falling apart? All my days, Were spent by the telephone

Our laughs would wrap together performing a once in a life time miracle of sound.

That never rang, And all I needed was a call, That never came, To the corner of First and Amistad

He’d lay me on my bed, slipping his hand from my head to fall softly on the pillow.

Lost and insecure, You found me, you found me, Lyin’ on the floor, Surrounded, surrounded

His voice would whisper the song in my ear, drawing my eyes closed.

Why'd you have to wait?, Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late 

He’d kiss my cheek before whispering ‘I love you’.

You found me, you found me

and then he is gone…