Tainted Secrets (Zarcus/Zalfie)

In An Ideal World

The decision to move in with Marcus hung in my mind as I woke unexpectedly early the following morning. I couldn't really imagine what it would be like to actually live with Marcus and only having each other to depend on. Although I am twenty four years old, I guess I'm quite independent anyway.

I stretched my arms out while still in my bed and turned over to my bedside table. I found that I had received a text on my mobile. It was from Marcus.

'When are we going to start looking at flats then? Lol, I'm excited xx'

I smiled at his positive attitude towards moving in together, he always seemed so optimistic about everything, a quality I simply loved about him. However as I began to think of my future with him, a small face with large eyebrows faded into my thoughts. Alfie.

I couldn't deny that I was happy to being moving forward in my relationship with Marcus but deep in the crevices of my mind, I thought about Alfie. I wanted it to stop urgently. I was not going to taint three years with Marcus just for some stupid little feeling that I had when I was with Alfie.

Besides from what I could gather from last night, he with evidently with Ruth and I was pleased for him. He deserved someone who made him happy, because he was after all a very sweet, funny and charming person.

I then paused as my mobile bleeped a second time, however this time it was Louise.

'Are you moving in with Marcus?! Holy crap, that's great!'

'Yeah it's great isn't it?' I typed back almost immediately.

But as I hit send, I stopped for a moment. My thoughts wandered and I started to think about what my future what would be like but with Alfie is Marcus' place. I imagined him making me laugh every single day and telling me that I'm an absolute weirdo but he loved me anyway and that I-

I had to stop this. I really had to stop this. It wasn't right and I knew that. I shook my head in frustration. There was no reason for me to be in love with Alfie. Apart from a few hidden stares and funny moments, what really was there? I hated how couldn't stop thinking about him.

My phone then bleeped for a third time that morning but this time it was Alfie himself. My heart skipped a beat for no reason whatsoever as I opened the text.

'Marcus has just told me the news. Congrats.'

Wow, Marcus was really spreading the news of our upcoming move around fast. I gazed at the text for a prolonged moment; I couldn't tell if Alfie was genuinely happy about the news. The blunt full stop at the end suggested otherwise.

'Yeah, it's great' I texted back simply. I didn't want to seem over enthusiastic, Marcus and I hadn't even discussed it in much detail so I didn't want to act overly happy when there was a possibility it may not happen. What was I thinking? Of course it was going to happen, there was no way I was going to ruin Marcus' cheery mood; I had been the one who had suggested it after all.