Bodyguard (completed)

Ch.14

Izaya's pov

I sigh. " well, I guess I'm not used to having people worry or care about me, so when people do, I think there doing for some other reason, like to spy on me, I don't really care about myself, so to think that someone else would is something I would say is impossible"

" I care about you, I don't know whats going on with you but I want to help you"' Shizuo says

" Why don't you care about yourself?" He asks. I don't really know what to tell him.

"Well, I just don't think of myself as important. I don't really mean that much to anyone, everyone hates me and I just don't see the point, you know?" I sigh.

"Izaya, I think this might have something to do with yours. depression, I think a lot of what you do has to do with it, like the...cutting" he says cautiously.

Once he sees I'm fine with him talking about it, he goes on further. " I think you should look into hobbies you could do instead of...that," he says gesturing to my arms.

" I do it because it helps me cope, I haven't really found any other coping methods that work as well... I guess I deserve it. I know that it's ugly to look at but-" I'm cut off.

" I don't think it's ugly! I just don't like the thought of you cutting yourself because you don't think you're good enough! I can help you, but you need to at least think that you're worth helping!" He says.

I stay silent, I guess I don't even think I'm worth that much. Shizuo pulls me into a hug, to which I hug back.

" I don't...I don't want you to hurt yourself" he says. " t-thanks for caring.." I tell him, I mean it, most people would call me a freak and leave. But not Shizuo, I wonder why.

He chuckles, " you don't have to thank me," he says. I chuckle and let go of him. He stands up and stretches.

I think about how much he's helped me since he's been here. I guess I'd be sad if he left, but I don't want to get too attached.

"huh, so what are we enemies or friends or..." I ask him, he thinks for a moment.

" Well we are on good terms, and I do like you now, so I would consider you a friend, what about you?" He asks me.

" I guess, since I'm telling you stuff about me, and you do know some things overs don't, so yeah, I consider you a friend, " I tell him.

Time skip to that night.

I lie in bed uncomfortable. I look over to Shizuo who's sleeping and not showing any signs of waking up soon.

I turn to the clock. It's 3 am. I haven't been able to sleep. I woke up from a nightmare and I can't go back to sleep now.

I notice that Shizuo isn't wrapped around me like he normally is, meaning I can move. I carefully get up and walk out of the bedroom with some clothes.

I'm going for a walk. The plan is to go now and be back before 6-7 am. If I do that then Shizuo will still be asleep, I'll just change back into my pajamas and lie in bed until he wakes up.

I get changed in the bathroom, I get my switchblade. I look behind me, remembering what happened last time I tried to leave the house.

I don't see anyone so I walk out the door. I walk for a bit, just thinking about my life. Why am I still here?

I reach Ikebukuro. Do people even care if I'm here or not? What does it matter? Is it on the roof top of a 20 story high building, so I can get a good view of all the humans.

I wonder if any of them care? Do they like me? Probably not, nobody does.

I stand up. It's still dark, street lights and signs light up he whole of Ikebukuro.

I stand on the edge looking out. Nobody cares, nobody will ever care.

I lean forward a bit. I s not hear the cars, the already busy streets, I swear I can even hear my name.

I lean forward some more,

A bit more. Just listening.

Footsteps, from behind me?

No, running?

My feet leave the edge. I close my eyes.

I'm falling.