Drag Me Down

Chapter 17 |

Chapter 17 | Elizabelle Swan

Seeing them, something I knew they didn't want to be, broke my heart -- because I knew I couldn't change it, even if I tried. I still couldn't remember much, bits and pieces at most, but the sadness in their eyes showed it clearly they didn't want what they were, though who did? To become someone who feeds off of humans -- something they themselves once were, or animals something that could be such an endanger to animals. It was a life not many people; no one really wanted it unless they were sadistic and loved watching overs in pain, loved draining life. 

There were some good things; you had no need to breath thereof, if you could not swim before you need not worry of drowning;  you now had rock hard skin that you need not worry of penetrating; had great smell and sight; was able to retain everything from whence you became a vampire to the present, and you had no worry for being 'ugly' for you were beautiful. Though those were all good things, there were also bad things -- some of which the former examples represent; you could not breath and people could think that you are dead; you could cause suspicion if you do not get vaccinations; you could see, hear, or smell things you do not wish too; and you could remember even the most painful of memories. 

The people in front of me, they looked terrified -- hopeful but not so hopeful as if what they were seeing were a dream. "Li?" One whispered, rushing to me and cupping my cheek.  "You. . you're alive?" 

I nodded stepping away, assuming I had been who he was talking too. "I am, but I do not know your name -- I am not sure of it," I bit my lip as that hope washed away looking down. "I. . .I'm sorry, I wish I did because you're handsome and all, and seem like a rad person, and are just you in general which that alone is amazing, but I can't remember but a few memories with you and the others." 

The others and he laughed and I looked up seeing the guy look as if he were about to cry. "You still are you -- confident and still a babbler," he suddenly kissed me and I was shocked not kissing back, when he pulled away staring at me with love and adoration. He kissed my cheek before pulling away and running off, and soon the others followed after a minute. As they left I turned to Dan, and my heart ached, but I still let out a sob. 

"My heart hurts," I whisper before passing out. 

~ * ~

I looked around, seeing all blackness. Just after that, my heart ached and I saw a . . . a web of memories, and I watched all of them feeling the vague memories of it all, when suddenly I saw one I couldn't help but keep looking at. "Li, if I may ask, if you could choose between Sebastian and I, would you still choose him? -- dating wise, not friend wise. I won't get hurt," the girl, me, didn't answer her, and I saw the pain in his eyes. "You, vir fortis, meus pulcher." I heard through my head, and suddenly it all disappeared. I saw a beautiful necklace with a crystal heart, beside it a dog tag, and I frowned. I began walking to it, and things got in my way -- either it seemed to move back, knives were thrown at me, a broken memory appeared, but at some point, somehow, I managed to reach it.

The necklaces wrapped around me and I gasped spitting up seeing Dan. I let out a sob, pulling my knees to much chest. "I remember, Dan. I remember you, I remember Nick, Mekal, Sebastian, Tobias, I 'member everybody," I say and I sobbed with pain. "I remember breaking my promise -- to you, and now you are someone you never wanted to be and it's all my fault -- it's all my fault." I remembered, but yet couldn't. . .these were not my memories and yet at the same time they were. 

I looked up at him with before shaking my head. "I'm so sorry," I cry before standing up and running away. 

~ * ~ 

She was a broken mess, no one could really help her but herself. She knew she wouldn't get better, she fought for 16 years of her life given the vampire time, and still she is haunted and broken. Cries for those she lost, cries for the pain she dealt with, and she swims to the top only to be dragged down all over again; leaving her to wonder, "will it ever be okay, ever get better." 

Of course it will, the night still shines even as the sun rays open it; darkness is ever-present just as light is ever-great, but it isn't always just great it  can be bad -- her shining heart is dangerous, just as other light can be. Strength is forever going to be here for you, forever be everywhere. The heart is dangerous, so vulnerable and so strong. You mustn't give up, do not let pain when over your heart, Death hold you in their arms a poker face present as you fought to go back before you finally loose. Live your life, smile while you can, fight what you must, but when it's over -- Stay. Strong. 

~ * ~ 

From the diary of Shadow Faei; 

         Life was great -- sure I had no clue as to much of what I was before Jasper, and sure I have been in so many situations However, I see Jasper fight through hardships of time, and I remember n'er a time will come of which I can not win. Jasper always wins, as can I. 

~ * ~ 

I had to keep fighting, I can't loose this battle. If I loose, then neither I nor the other's who know me but don't know me will figure this out. The battle of mine needs to end, and I think my cowboy is the only one who could possibly help -- for he was the one in both my and Elizabelle's life.