poems.

simple story.

My momma
always called me sunrise,
even though I was going to bed
and the moon was waiting
in front of the window.
She liked to sing to me
with her fingers running
through my hair,
telling me how beautiful the next day
is going to be.
"Just wait for the sunrise."
-She used to call me beautiful.

My brother
loved to protect me
whenever we went outside
calling for an adventure,
even though I had to be the one
saving
every time he crashes again.
But it was him against the world
and me
trying to connect both,
trying to keep him with us.
And he loved me
-he always wanted to protect.

My dad
used to be my best friend
with chewing gum in his jacket
-cherry flavoured-
whenever I needed it.
He painted like a dreamer
with colours that glow like the sunset.
We used to sit down.
Just the both of us,
best friends
making jokes of everything
that comes into our minds.
He knew
that would take the pain away.

My sister
was golden
like dreams from childhood.
She was made full of love,
would have stayed in a hateful time of
a totally broken family.
She was everything
she would have dreamed of.
-A star
too far to truly be there,
but
she was.
She was never born.

My momma
she refused to call me
at all,
even though I was lying in my bed,
crying to the moon
who was waiting
in front of the window.
I used to call for her
knowing she wouldn't hear me
all night long
-until the sun rose,
but she never called at all.
The sunrise
still
was more than beautiful.

My brother
went on his own
trying to find the one place
where he is loved,
trying to find home.
There was this night
as he crawled under my blanket
-naked-
even though he used to protect, to hide, to...
He shuts my mouth with his lips,
he placed his fingers on my hips
and his center
to mine.
He was trying to connect
something.
It was him against the world,
him lying on top of me
and all he wanted
was the love
he'd never get
from the one
he always protect,
but couldn't from himself.

My Dad
-I would love to understand,
but he screams too loud
every night.
I keep looking for
cherry chewing gum,
but there are too many bottles
that sparkle in the dark like
broken dreams right in front of him.
One shot
for every crack in his heart.
He used to throw me to the ground,
hitting,
cause he couldn't beat himself even more
and he laughed about everything
that came into his mind,
cause nothing could take the pain away.

After reading this,
could you see-
would you look for me?
Because I am on my way
to something else.

I am not docile,
not even a little bit.
The only obedient thing about me
is the pain that I learn to accept.

But I am on my way
beyond the past and mistakes that
can't be undone.
Do you believe I am happy?
Undivided? Completely?

I am on my way
between moon and sunrise,
between adventures and crashes,
tragedies and chewing gum
-cherry flavoured.

Believe me,
there is so much more.