poems.

about the heartbreaker.

remember the time
you feared going to school,
cause they all called you a 'boy',
just because you weren't as girlish as the others? do you remember the time they made fun of your name
and sang stupid songs about your weight?
and do you remember the times
they said that they don't love you?

I know you promised yourself to be heartless, you promised yourself to be what they call an asshole
and don't tell me it's about confidence
you fear to be loved and I know that's what you're craving for the most:
to be loved
all of the things you destroy on purpose, all of the words you spread like poison
- you just want to be loved

remember as she held you in her arms and whispered things for you to sleep, do you remember her stupid kind of dancing in the living room and her favourite drink she always shared with you?
do you know what it means to be yourself? do you know how it is to get accepted for who you are?

do you erased the memory of you sitting on the sore, watching her playing the guitar and enjoying life as if it could be summer for the rest of your life?

cause I guess she remembers your nicknames and your habits of needing attention just all of the time, she remembers cooking and spending all afternoon just laying in bed with you

and I guess you remember all of your promises, every tale about 'love' and 'the one you always dreamed of' ,
cause we all know what you promised yourself first
and I guess for some people it's just pretty easy to destroy what they want the most

on the other hand
maybe they're right and
you're a fucked up asshole actually,
but
that's up to you, you know?