Find You There (Fanfic Version)

Sixty-Three

"Tay."

"Hey, Tay."

"Come on, kitty cat, you need to wake up."

No other boy calls me that.

I groan quietly, forcing my eyes to open. As the lights hit my vision, I feel my head pound. I see Louis right in front of me, sea-green eyes and a bright smile.

Only then have I realized how uncomfortable my position had been all the while I've been sleeping because I didn't sleep on the bed. I slept right at the floor, facing that wall with my back against the bed.

"Wh-What time is it?" I ask Louis very quietly. My head is pounding and my heart rate feels too fast I don't even know if that's normal.

"Well, you're missing, apparently. . ." He answers and partly smiles. "Exactly a quarter before twelve."

My parents are going to kill me. I didn't plan to reach this long. I only wanted to visit and come back, I didn't realize I'd fall asleep just like that.

I shut my eyes again and let my forehead fall on my arms. I whimper a little, "I'm a mess."

Truth be told for one of the first few times. Still, stating the obvious but at the least, it's fine.

I feel Louis sit beside me. He sighs as he does and then it is quiet between us. Well, at least before he says anything.

"You are a mess," Louis comments truthfully. "You are missing, you know. According to your parents, since last night."

"I know," I mutter. "I'm just a mess and I don't want to spend the night there."

Louis laughs quietly. "That's funny because if you wanted to forget, why'd you come to the place that would remind everything?"

I lift my head up then lean it back. I keep my eyes shut, still, I can see the scenery on the wall. I know the perfect picture and it never fades inside my head.

"I didn't want to forget," I tell him without doubt or hesitation. "I just miss this, Lou." I open my eyes and turn my head to Lou. "Just please tell me my eyes don't look bloodshot."

He shakes his head as a no. "Nope. You just look like you haven't slept in years, but we both know, you have, in fact slept in years."

I quietly chuckle at his joke. "Thanks."

I start feeling heavy as the silence sinks inside the room. Staring at the wall in front of me is such a beautiful torture I am forcing myself to go through. The pictures, his notes, him. . . I want it all back yet I can't.

Tears start welling up my eyes yet like last night, I don't cry to very fullest. I just tear up every once in a while. I feel my chest getting tighter by the second and I am hoping that Lou doesn't see it.

"For once, be real." Lou's statement pulls me back to reality. The way he says it with too much strength and yet he's very calm as well.

"What?"

Louis smiles up but it doesn't seem real. "You didn't cry last night, did you?"

"I--I teared up?"

"Yes, but you never had a breakdown," he says as if trying to prove a point in my unclear head. "For once, be real with yourself. You want to cry? Go ahead."

I shake my head. "I have moods for crying but so far haven't visited."

"Taylor," he says.

"Louis." I partly smile after imitating his tone.