MOXLEY (A Dean Ambrose serial killer fic/Mature smut content)

Strike One

I sat down at the table with Dean. The waitress handed us some menus then walked away to get our drinks that Dean requested. It was a small cafe but the setting was cute. Not that I would notice right now. I was shook up from Moxley' visit. I was struggling not to burst into tears and tell Dean what had happened. Each time a noise was heard near me I flinched. Just a chair sliding out and screeching close by had me jumping and turning quickly to see what it was. Dean raised an eyebrow at me, watching my reaction I turned my eyes back but I couldn't look at him. I felt ashamed, dirty for what had happened. I was a victim of something so disgusting and terrifying yet I couldn't tell anyone. If I had the choice I wasn't sure if I even could no matter how much I wanted to. "You ok? You seem anxious" I nodded lightly, keeping my eyes down to the table as our drinks were placed down in front of us. "Rachel, I'm sorry for what I did. I have some explaining to do but I need you to listen and not interrupt me." He had no problems there. I wasn't one for talking right now. I was struggling not to burst into hysterics. "I lost control. I hold my hands up to it and I feel so ashamed for what I did to you. I'm not making up excuses but I see red when what happened happens. I want you to understand I never wanted to hurt you. Even if it takes the rest of my life I will do what ever it takes to prove that to you". He paused, waiting for me to say something but I kept quiet. Sighing out he sounded stressed. I wasn't meaning to make him feel worthless by not adding to the discussion. My eyes strayed up to his, I was holding back tears as I watched his expression show guilt and hurt. He was waiting for me to say anything. The tension between us was thick but I was pushing most of that between us with the fear and loathing I was holding inside. "I didn't mean to hit you" I mumbled out, my voice showing a contained sob. "Hey, please don't cry! Fuck Rachel! The last thing I want to do is make you cry" He reached out, placing his hand over mine on the table to try and comfort me. I breathed in deeply then exhaled the same to try and hold back my tears. He had it all wrong. It wasn't because of him.

"It isn't you who made me cry right now..." I told him. Dean looked back at me puzzled, a protective expression spread across his features as he looked pissed suddenly. "Then who did? Who's upset you?!" I pulled my hand from his, placing it in my lap under the table as he continued to watch me. I couldn't even make eye contact anymore. I felt so ashamed and I knew I had no choice but to hide it from him. "Rachel? Talk to me. What's going on?" I shook my head no. I had to make an excuse here so I came out with the first thing that I could think of. "I'm just home sick. It's only just hit me the past few days" I smoothly lied, forcing myself to give a small smile to Dean who looked hurt to see me like this. Maybe I got him wrong. Maybe he really didn't mean what he did to me. After all, he hasn't exactly had it easy. I didn't help by slapping him. "I'm sorry. Can we change the subject?" I asked him. Dean watched me a moment longer suspiciously then nodded to accept I wouldn't go into it any further. I was safe, for now. "I need to ask you something. Is there any chance you will take me back?" I frowned down at my hands. How the hell was I going to get round this? I wanted to give us a chance to fix what had been broken but at the same time I had Moxley to worry about. "We can be friends I guess...Just for now" I tried. The waitress came back right then. Taking our food orders, I asked for just a salad while Dean had a burger, as usual. When the waitress left us again Deans eyes came down to me, I glanced up at him nervously. Not nervous for his question but nervous if he found out the real reason why. "So are you suggesting we take the time to get to know each other more first? Or is this your way of shooting me down?". I didn't know what to say. I couldn't exactly take him back with Moxley on my back. If that psycho that broke in early this morning really was Moxley. "I'm sorry Dean. I'm not meaning to make you feel like I'm leading you on. I'm not, I promise you i'm not. I just need some time. I'm having a rough time at the moment" Dean looked at me concerned. He showed real worry for me behind his helpless expression. I caused that helpless expression. It was all my fault.