MOXLEY (A Dean Ambrose serial killer fic/Mature smut content)

Poison

I stared up at the ceiling, my only past time since I was first locked in this room. The only furniture was an old iron cast framed bed that held a thin dusty mattress. I had no pillow and the blanket was dirty with holes but it was the only way to keep warm at night. The floorboards creaked with every step I would take no matter how careful I was to prevent any noise. The adjoining bathroom was my only water source. A new towel would be given to me once a week so I could wash and shower at least. The clothes I was given to wear were nothing fashionable but actually more like what a girl in the 50's would wear on a farm sporting pigtails. My hair was matted from the lack of a hairbrush. I had given up trying to detangle with my fingers which were becoming sore from an infection I had gained just a few weeks ago when Taylor tried to have his way with me on the floor. Bray always put a stop to Taylor's antics but that never stopped him from trying. I didn't want to be here, that was probably already obvious. I never saw anyone but Taylor and on the odd occasion Bray. I hadn't seen a midwife and I knew I was due any day now. I had feared I was probably overdue and it could cause major problems for me and my baby when the time would come. I had always kept hope since the day I got here that John would find me soon. Every night I would cry myself to sleep begging anyone up there to let him know I was here and alive. Begging them to send him to save me. Those prayers ceased just two weeks ago and I had started to accept that maybe he was dead. I saw him get shot and I saw him fall to the floor. I was stupid to think he could have survived. That was why nobody had come for me yet. Seth had no reason to find me, Ro and Kelly probably were glad for John to be dead and me to be gone. We did nothing but cause stress and problems for them in the end. Now every night my tears were not prayers of hope but grief for John, the man I loved despite his terrible faults. 

I had questioned myself a lot the past two weeks. Why did I love a monster like John? How could I trust he wouldn't kill again? How did I know that if he was alive right now he wouldn't have harmed me and our child after it was born? I wondered also whether there was life after death and had tried to speak out to him. I knew if there was life after death there was a chance he was here with me, watching me and trying to comfort me. Is that what spirits could do if they really existed? I knew I was starting to lose my mind, believing in ghosts and talking to air. It didn't really matter anymore. Once my baby was born I would be left at the hands of Taylor. Bray had said many times that once the baby was here safe, he could do whatever he pleased with me. Even now I am lost in my own thoughts. I won't even look up as the door currently opens because I know who it is and I know he wants to harm me again. I would rather die than let those fuckers have me or my child. Death would be the better option for us both.

John POV

"Nothing", I told Seth with a hurt expression. He, Ro and Kelly sat looking at me silently as I stood in the doorway with my eyes to the floor. They didn't know what to say. They didn't know how to react to the news that nothing could be found and we had no trace of where she could be. "I'm going to presume she and our child are dead. I can't keep doing this. My heart can't take it. I'm chasing nothing because she's already gone!" I looked up in that final syllable and punched the wall enraged. I couldn't go on like this any longer. It was the only option because if I continued like this I would be searching for her and our child till the day I died. "You can't just give up on her! She's not dead she's just.." "I CAN'T FUCKING SEARCH FOR SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE! SHE'S DEAD! HER AND OUTR CHILD! BOTH OF THEM ARE FUCKING DEAD!" Kelly froze after I cut her off and glared at all of them with my clenched fists at my sides panting. I had lost it. I felt so enraged I wanted to kill again. I wanted to kill someone and watch the life drain from their eyes just to imagine it was Bray losing his life. I needed an outlet but what was the point? "I am turning myself in before I hurt someone. Life is pointless now. I can't do this anymore. Rachel is the only reason to keep living!". Roman stood up in that instant, punching his hand into the coffee table making everyone stop and look at him. His eyes were as enraged as mine. He was furious but only towards me. "So you're giving up on her but you're child?! Have you ever thought there was a reason he wanted her?! From what you told us, John, he wants that child alive so there is a good chance she is alive also right now. Whether he killed her or not that child is still out there somewhere and needs you! You're not handing yourself in! We will have to think of another tactic!" I kept silent once he had finished, my eyes drifted to Seth who was deep in thought then he looked up at me with a meagre expression.