The Girl on the Reset Button

January 22, 2011

“Good morning.”

I smiled at her. But she freaked out.

Dear Diary,

We were both lying naked. We had a very nice time last night. Unfortunately, I forgot that she would then forget whatever happened to us last night. And she freaked out. She kept on pushing and pushing me to the side until I fell on the floor.

I don’t know how to explain things to her because she won’t little to a thing that I am saying. She kept on shouting, hyperventilating. I just can’t calm her down! It was a disaster. We shouldn’t have done it.

She threw me a blanket to cover myself up. “Who are you? A-Are we… dating?”

It would be disaster if I said ‘no’. “Uhm, yes.”

She calmed down a little. “But… W-Why can’t I remember anything about you and me?”

“I don’t know how to say this in any other way but,” I sighed, “you have a Goldfish disease.”

She chuckled. I didn’t expect her to react that way. “Gold what?”

“Goldfish disease,” I repeated. “You’re brain tends to reset every 24 hours, making you forget whatever happened yesterday.”

“But I can remember something,” she said with conviction. “I can remember my name, my family, where I live, where I studied, etc. Maybe you’re just joking, right?”

“No.” She stopped giggling. “You…” She looked at me intently. This is so hard to say but she has to know. She has to. “You were caught in an accident.”

“Accident?”

I nodded. “And that accident caused your disease.”

I was quite glad because she didn’t ask anything about her family. I know she’ll weep so much if she’ll know the tragedy that has happened to them. After she freshened up, I told her that we have to get back to the hospital. At first she refused, but I told her that she has to take her medications so she would feel better, so she reluctantly agreed after.

Like the usual, I brought her to the art center after she took all of her medicines. Then, left her there with her friends. Though, she can’t remember them.

I thought the day was going to end that way, but she came up to me, asked me a little favor.

“Uhm…”

“Xavier,” I forgot to tell her my name earlier.

“Xavier, could you… drive me down the underpass?”

“Of course.”

She told me that she has always wanted to do this ever since she watched the movie ‘Perks of Being a Wallflower’. She also told that she wants to do this with the guy that she wants to be with forever. I don’t know what she wants to tell me, but I think that she wants to say that she likes me. I know, jumping to conclusion is bad, but if she wants to do such thing with the person she wants to be with forever, then why is she doing it with me?

When we approached the underpass, she stood up and let the air brush her face and take away her hair. I slowed down a little so she won’t lose her balance but insisted that I should drive faster so she could feel the wind even more.

So I did. She was laughing and she kept on waving her hand in the air, but will hold on the windshield when she feels like she’s falling.

When the underpass was over, she sat down and giggled for the last time. Then, she said something that I would not forget.

“I felt infinite. And I’m glad it’s with you.”