The Girl on the Reset Button

February 2, 2011

Dear Diary,

I don’t know why but I tried avoiding her. Not really ‘avoiding her’, but I’m trying my best not to be attached to her. Whenever I’ll enter her room, I’ll just think that I’m a nurse and she’s a patient and my job is to take care of her, not to fall in love with her.

I know this is for our best. Well, mostly, for my benefit, actually. I can’t afford falling in love with her, telling her that I love, but then she’ll forget about how I feel, what has happened between us and everything. She’ll forget about me. She won’t remember anything about me. And that hurts. So much. And I can’t afford being hurt every day, every time I’m with her, every time I see her.

We’re not meant to be together even before we met each other. Maybe I’m just the one who felt the spark when we first saw each other. Maybe I’m just the one who loves her. And she doesn’t love me.

I think it’s much better if I’ll just space out. I’ll remain his nurse. She’ll remain a patient. Maybe that’s really where we’re supposed to be.