The Girl on the Reset Button

February 25, 2011

Dear Diary,

They did fire him.

They talked to him the day after and he confessed that he was the one who gave the permission. But he explained why. He said that he was giving her comfort, etc. But Mr. Andrews was very insistent. He said that Via was sick and she needs the care of the hospital and not the nurture of ‘nature’. He kept on saying that she’s safe and comfortable here inside the hospital.

But he doesn’t know what he was talking about. He doesn’t know what Via feels because he never talked to her. Not even once. He doesn’t know how sick she is inside the hospital. Though, Via forgets how sick she is because her mind keeps on forgetting that. But at the end of the day, she’ll end up saying: “I want to go out.” And that’s what we were giving her. Nothing’s wrong with that, right? We assure she’s safe. So telling us that she’s not safe outside is nonsense! I know, the outside world is reckless for a person who’s ever been stuck inside the hospital, especially for a person who’ll just forget everything the next day. But we were there to protect her. All the time.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Rye.”

“No,” he placed his hand on shoulder, “Don’t blame yourself for this. You’re just doing your job, right?”

Am I really doing my job? I nodded.

“As long as you’re doing your job, it’s fine. Even if other people keep on questioning you.”

He smiled for the last time and went off.

I feel half-guilty, though. Yes, Via wants to go outside. But half of that, I really want to take her out for the two of us to have some time together, alone. I feel guilty because my selfishness drove one person out of the hospital. But I know he’ll find a more pleasing institution to accept him. He’s great. And he’s loyal to his job.

But, I really don’t get it. Why would this hospital prioritize a girl with a Goldfish disease? I mean, yes, I want this hospital to take care of her, but not that much. Not to the extent that they can fire someone who’s very important to them. Look at the cost that they made. But what is the benefit? I’m very sure that there is. I just don’t know what it is. But I know there is. There surely is. And maybe it’s connected with Via.