Break My Heart a Thousand Times (The Selection Series Story)

Chapter XXIII - All Is Lost

Chapter Twenty Three - All Is Lost

My first thought was, I must be dreaming.

Or rather, experiencing a nightmare.

There was absolutely no possibility that these many bad things could happen. Not a chance. It wasn't fair. It was not fair.

Before I realize it, I was sprinting after Chelsey, leaving Mallory with Chase. My heart pounded, and even though I wanted more than anything to stop and curl up into a ball and cry, I had to find out if it was true.

It's not true, it's not true, it can't be true, I reiterated in my mind, wishing more than anything that I was right. It couldn't be true. There must be some misunderstanding. I'd visited the queen just a few days ago. She'd was fine. She is fine. Queen Amberly, the doctors said, had been improving tremendously the past few weeks - despite the stress of her son being gone and all the Raiders attacks.

Before I knew it, we had arrived in the Royal Chambers. I was almost surprised - it felt like seconds ago that I had been in Chase's room, peacefully enjoying the afternoon.

We arrived in the hallway, and it's already too crowded for us to get in. There were doctors all around and a few royal advisors. Even some confused maids and butlers had stopped, lingering in the hallway with curious and worried faces. I glimpsed Anne for a second, but before I knew it, she was gone, and Chelsey was pushing her way to the front while dragging me along with her.

We reached Queen Amberly's door, where a guard named Alix was hesitating. He saw Chelsey and almost didn't let her in, but her pleading face persuaded him. We rushed in, ducking away before anyone would notice two maids in the thick of the crowd.

Inside, there were at least five doctors and five guards in the room. My heart clenched and I felt like I was going to throw up as I managed to catch the last glimpse of Queen Amberly's ashen gray face before a doctor grimly covered her body with a white sheet.

A flash of light caught my eye. Her necklace, I remembered. She still has her necklace. She wanted me to have it. I should have it. I should take it. Go, America, get whatever is left to remember her by.

However, her face and any sign of the necklace disappeared as a couple doctors crowded around her, talking in low, hushed tones. I was too numb to do anything, anyway.

Chelsey gripped my hand tighter. I could hear her starting to sob, but I didn't cry. I couldn't cry. None of this was registering in my head at all. My heart pounded and I could feel myself breaking into a sweat.

A guard ordered Alix - who was still standing post, resembling a pillar next to the door - to disperse the crowd so they could take Queen Amberly's body to the infirmary for inspection. I opened mouth to say No, please, she might still be alive. But no sound came out.

Chelsey began sobbing louder as they lowered Queen Amberly onto a stretcher and carried her out. All of a sudden, a guard appeared in front of the two of us, a stern look on his face, and we let ourselves be led out of Queen Amberly's room. The crowd outside was already disappearing, but the guard just brought us to the hallway before hurrying away.

"Miss Beauregard, please, you must stop crying if we are to understand what happened."

I turned at the sound of a calm voice saying Keahnna's last name and was met with the sight of a sobbing, disheveled Keahnna a little down the hallway. A doctor and a man with a notepad stood in front of her, but Keahnna could barely form words.

I quickly rushed over, worrying that maybe she had been hurt. After all, I didn't even know how Queen Amberly had died. Were there more victims? My heart was pounding as I arrived at my friend's side.

My presence seemed to send a calm over Keahnna. She took a shaky breath before wiping her mascara-smeared eyes and sniffing loudly. "...Okay, I'm fine now," she managed to croak to the calm man who seemed to be interrogating her.

I almost interrupted to ask why she was asked so questions, but the female doctor and the interrogator both wore an annoyed expression already, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Very good, Miss Beauregard," the man said swiftly. He ignored me. "Now please, start at the beginning."

"I..." Keahnna took a deep breath as tears began leaking out of her eyes again. The man pursed his lips, so I squeezed her shoulder comfortingly, and she managed to pull herself back together.

"I was in my room writing -" Keahnna began slowly.

"Writing what?" The man interrupted.

Keahnna scowled. "Writing a letter to my friend Lady Veronikka - she left just a couple hours ago." The man scribbled this down. "Anyway, I was writing it with the door open because I needed some fresh air-"

"Why not just open the window?" the man interrupted again. Keahnna seemed more frustrated than sad now. She hurriedly wiped her eyes, which were smeared with eye makeup.

"Because I didn't want to - the breeze makes me cold. " She began to clear her throat and dramatically flip her hair.  "Anyway, I was writing when I heard Queen Amberly calling out." Keahnna's voice cracked. "She sounded weak, so I quickly got up and hurried over." She swallowed thickly when the man continued to write. "The Queen..." she took a deep breath. "She told me she was feeling dizzy, so I got her some hot tea and water. After she drank it, she began to grow paler, and eventually-" Keahnna was holding back her tears. "She just, just... died." Finally, the tears began to flow, and I just stood in shock as the man and the doctor nodded calmly. They didn't seem very moved at all, and even though it was their job to remain calm, I was slightly offended by how indifferent - almost bored - they seemed.

"Thank you, Miss Beauregard," the man shut his notebook loudly, making Keahnna jump as she continued to cry. "That will be all. Someone may be around later to collect more details."

Keahnna nodded slowly, but I quickly stepped forward before they could walk away. "Wait!" I protested. "Doesn't anybody know how the Queen died?" My voice sounded panicked and weak, and both the doctor and the interrogator looked at me exasperatedly at me - as if I was a child.

"It seems she died of natural causes," the woman told me. "Possibly a heart attack of old age."

I sputtered. "But- but isn't anyone concerned? She's the Queen!"

"She was the Queen," the man interjected. "Everyone was expecting her to die eventually," he told me breezily as if it was no big deal. I was becoming more and more frustrated. "After her fall, it was just a matter of time."

"But she was improving!" I protested, feeling faint at the thought of her fall. This couldn't be happening. Please, I couldn't handle anything else.

"Improvement does not equate the healthiness of a younger body," the doctor told me coldly, and she and the man turned and walked away before I could say anything else.

I leaned against the wall, with Keahnna. I couldn't think, I couldn't feel. Dimly in the corner, I saw Chelsey sobbing in the arms of another maid. I didn't cry.

I sat down on the floor and closed my eyes, wishing that things could just go back to how it was before.

As I watched the stretcher with Queen Amberly's body being carried out, I remembered something my brother had told me a couple months ago when he had first informed me about the Raiders.

It just took one moment to shatter someone's world.

Too bad mine had already been broken.