Exile

Nos Histoire Romantique Part Three

Author's Note: Final Part!  Hang in there!

I hate it when I'm right.

My so-called fiancé has been cheating on me since we got back together. He met that horny twat during our separation, and he couldn't be bothered to give her up. I caught them in bed together doing…whatever. I didn't give it a second thought. I threw my engagement ring at him and told him to go fuck himself.

Now, I'm a crumpled, crying hot mess. Infidelity is always painful and can be a huge blow to one's soul. But I'm not crying over him. Believe it or not, I'm relieved. I'm free of that relationship. I'm free of the soul drain that comes with pretending to be happy all the time. I feel like I've been released from a long prison sentence.

But this is no time to rejoice. I think about all the choices I've made to get to this point…and I realize that I've been a fucking idiot this entire time.

I know how to hurt people deeply.

I could have had happiness, and I let because I was scared. This is no time for "what ifs" or regrets. But I can't help but think about Alex and how much I hurt him by running back into Mike's tainted arms. I did it because I couldn't handle it all. He showed me his heart and I stabbed it with a knife and watched him bleed dry.

Now, it was my turn to bleed. I deserve the pain.

…

I've sunk into a deep depression. Beyond going to school, I don't see or talk to anyone. If I'm not in school, I'm at home, and vice versa. My friends have tried to get through to me. I won't let them. I won't even answer the phone.

But tonight, for whatever reason, is different. My cell phone rings, and I just pick it up. I don't bother to look at the caller ID.

"Leave me alone," I croak.

"Elodie!" I sit up in my bed. "Elodie, it's me."

"Alex…" On cue, I burst into tears. "Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me." His voice is soothing. "Where are you? My brother told me what happened."

"I'm at home. My parents are away, so I'm staying here. I don't want to see anyone."

"I'm coming over. You shouldn't be alone."

"But…"

"No 'buts'. I'm on my way. No one knows what I'm doing, so you'll be safe."

"…"

"I'll be there in half an hour okay? Just hang in there."

"Okay. I will."

Just like that…the sadness begins to lift.

…

The one thing you think you don't want is the very thing you've always needed.

The downpour shimmers like night diamonds from the moon. The room is quiet, still, instilled with a kind of peace reserved for realization, for acceptance. Faintly, cars can be heard passing by to various destinations. Dusk has long set in; the sky is pitch black with a swirl of rainclouds.

Warmth is everywhere. It travels down the small of my back and circles my stomach in fluttery flourishes. It spreads across the damp strands of my hair, down the curve of my neck against wet, moist skin.

Against my ears, I can hear it – a heartbeat that is gentle as the man who carries it.

I thought it would be better to push him away, out of respect for my former relationship or fear of my own powerful feelings. But now that he's here with me, I can't think of anywhere else I want to be.