Chapter 6: Heart vs Mind
Needless to say the mother daughter shopping trip didn't go too well. I stayed absolutely silent whereas my mother looked as though she would burst into tears at any second... maybe I was a bit cruel... But didn't she deserve it? Didn't I deserve to finally let it out? I feel no better, in fact I'm disgusted with myself. Taking pity on a woman who has caused me nothing but misery for over six years? Guess it's just the way I'm wired.
"Cortney?" my mother says weakly, her voice is breaking. Great note I feel even more guilty.
"Yeah?" I reply dryly.
"Do you know I love you?"
I laugh bitterly. "If this is your way of apologizing save it. I don't need this from you."
She blinks rapidly and opens her mouth to say something but closes it and looks away from me. My heart yells at me to say something, comfort her, but my mind reminds it of all she's done to hurt us and she shuts up.
We walk out of the site having bought nothing, my mother says some crap about trying again tomorrow and I shrug. The drive home is silent. No one even breaths.
When we finally arrive home I burst through the door, tear across the living room, dive into my room, and slam the door. I hear Chris ask my mom how it went and she bursts into tears... Great I managed to make my mother cry! I really am a shitty person...
"How many times did she make you cry?" demands my mind.
"Thousands..." says my heart, "But she's still our mom! Remember when she bought us Skyward Sword?!?!"
"Only because we asked for it."
"But she remembered!"
"No, she wrote it down."
"But..."
"Just stop alright? It's over OK? Let it go."
My heart refuses to give up even being given the cold hard facts. When will she learn that no one cares? That protecting yourself is the only way to survive this cruel, messed up world? We survived our childhood this way, we survived family crisis's this way, we survived our father this way, and we can survive the rest of our miserable life this way too.
YOU ARE READING
Wait... What?
أدب المراهقينCortney makes the biggest decision of her life when she decides to go to Michigan to live with her mother, stepfather, and half sister. Will it be the biggest mistake of her life or will she finally find peace?
