Wait... What?

Chapter13

Chapter 13: A New Identity

To be completely honest I'm embarrassed by my behavior lately, the party with the drugs and the flirting... That's just not me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised I've always had a bad habit of changing my personality in order to fit in with the crowd, be who they want me to be.

The first time I really noticed that I do this was when I changed schools last year, I tried way too hard to be girly. I wore frilly skirts and blouses, really just not me. Of course it didn't last long, I fell back into old habits of skinny jeans and black t-shirts, and began talking about video games way too much...  AGAIN. Well I suppose I did manage to make some friends that way, regardless of my sudden change in personality once I got to know them.

Of course everything in high school is labeled I've never really given much thought to what mine might be... based upon what my friend were labeled as I'm assuming it's "gamer" or "nerd" although I did seem to get called "emo" a lot so maybe it's that. Why I care I have no idea, I have a chance to change everything previously thought about me and what do I do? Go to a party and make a series of irresponsible decisions. I'm so intelligent!

I groan and sit up in bed, six am is way too early for me. Why can't school start around noon? I'd be down with that for sure. Whoever decided school should start at eight was a moron. I know for a fact that my mind doesn't start working until ten... at the earliest. Or at least three cups of coffee and a cold shower.

I run my hands through my tangled hair and take a brief moment to decide what I'm wearing today. I decide on some blue skinny jeans and my black shirt with the Zelda symbol on it. My lucky shirt. I should probably throw the thing away but it means too much to me, the gold symbol has faded to a strange yellow/green color and has lost it's shine back when it was new it was large and hung past my waist now it was verging on being a "let's show off my belly!" shirt, I believe they're actually called halter tops but I have no clue nor do I care in the slightest.

I shower and dress quickly running the brush through my short brown hair hastily before walking to the kitchen, Chris has already left for work and kindly enough left some coffee in the pot for me. I fill my thermos quickly and grab my bag which I went through the night before to make sure I have everything, I quickly check and see if I brought a book and nod to myself seeing everything organized and ready. There is no better feeling in the world than being organized and ready at least to me, you have no idea how many times I've been called OCD.... I think they may be right.

As I sit on the bus, sipping coffee and listening to music I decide this year I will be myself from the get go. I am Cortney and I can totally do this. "I can do this. I can do this..." I mutter to myself as the bus approaches my inevitable doom. High school to me in a nut shell.

Grayling High is a small school, the kids here have probably known each other since kindergarten, and since this is the middle of fucking no where I'm probably the only new student. So much for my famous way of blending in. If you have never been the new student at a high school I have no way to describe the anxiety and fear you get when enterng the doors the first time. So I will leave you with this: I'm freaking. The fuck. Out.