The Benefits Project ; phan au

3 ; The Project

#3

I hate school. 

I've always hated school but I've never hated it as much as I do now. It doesn't really help that it was Monday though either, the worst day of the week. On the plus side, this is the last week of school before we break up for Christmas. Unfortunately, during the two weeks off for Christmas, our family were going on a skiing holiday with Phil's. It made me sick but my parents nor Tilly knew about what had happened between Phil and I. 

Phil and I hadn't spoken to each other until his mum told him to say good bye to me when he was leaving at noon. He didn't apologise to me, he played with Tilly while I sat and watched. Every now and then he would've looked at me though but I refuse to believe he had some guilt in his eyes. When Louise knocked on my door so we could walk to school together this morning, I burst into tears again and she gave me a warm hug. Honestly I couldn't have asked for a better best friend. She was a hell of a lot better than Phil ever was to me. However his words keep bouncing around in my mind.

"Dan stop, I know what you're doing," Louise told me sharply and sitting down next to me.

"Sorry, it's hard though," I replied.

"I know it is but you need to stop it, you can't say I didn't warn you," she said, patting my knee.

"I hate him Louise, I really do," I hissed, looking up at the roof of the corridor.

"Well that's good right?"

"I suppose, I feel bad for Emma though," I said, switching topics slightly.

Louise nodded. 

"Same, she had her first time with Phil and you walked in."

"I'm not going to take that twenty quid, I feel guilty enough already,"

"Guilty?"

"I was the one who invited her to the fucking party Louise,"

"Dan, it's not your fault stop blaming yourself for these things,"

"But it is-"

"For gods sake Dan will you get it into your thick head that it wasn't your fault?!" Louise yelled at me. 

I sighed and grinned.

"Okay, fine it wasn't," I replied.

She smiled, flashing her perfect teeth. 

"Good."

"I don't love him anymore, not after that,  I feel sick, I just wanna throw up Louise," I explained. "I can't believe I let myself kiss him."

She rubs my arm softly. 

"Hey, hey, this isn't any of your fault remember? He bribed you and took advantage."

"I don't know."

Just then the door to the corridor opened and Phil walked through with his gang, almost as if he was looking down on everyone. His glance met mine and smirked. I gave him a dark look which almost made him laugh. He was honestly disgusting. He was in my next period being EPQ. I looked away from Phil and Louise smiled at me, whispering to me that it was good of me to stop looking. I was finally getting over him.

I was getting over Phil Lester.

The door to our classroom then opened, Dr Watson was stood in the doorway, welcoming our class inside. Louise and I stood up together, walking into class and sitting next to each other in our usual places at the back. We pulled out our folders, putting them in front of us.